The E-Mail
by Tori Yuki Ichimura
Summary: PHASE TWO is now up and running, and once again I did not write the questions. This is an E-Mail of love, straight from those people we all know and love. Will you make it to the bitter end? [chapter 22: IVY ADRENA]
1. Duet gets a letter

Tori: Here's an interesting e-mail I recently received from someone who shall remain anonymous.

Makoto: Bwehehehe….

Tori: *holds head in hands* Fine then… It's not like anyone knows who you are anyway…

Makoto: *pouts*

Kegawa: Ouch! Tori-one. Makoto-nothing!

Makoto: AHHH! SCARY MUSE!!! *points at Ke* Kill it, Umō!

Umō: *swoops at Ke, who hides under table.

Ke: START THE FIC! START THE FIC!

[A/N: Makoto is a friend of mine from UchuTosuta who writes his own FanFics in his spare time. His muse is a Gyrfalcon named Umō, or 'Feathers']

~*~*~*~

            It was a 2pm like any other when Duet knocked on Heero's door to ask if she could borrow his laptop. It took a little 'persuading', but eventually she stepped smugly out of the room, flipping her now-unbraided hair over one shoulder, with the lap top tucked under her arm. 

            Duet hurried downstairs into the sunroom, and plopped down in one of the recliners, resting the computer on her knees. The monitor beeped to life and she double-clicked the tiny AnimeNation icon, typed Nemesis_AceOfSpades@gundampilot.com and her password, and waited for her mailbox to open.

            "You've got mail!" a chibi-Duet of horrible graphic designs cried and waved two little fans. "One new message!" it cheered. Duet clicked the letter in bold and began to read.

_Hey, hey, baby! It's me, Makoto! Didn't think you'd escape me just be changing school, now did ya?_

            Duet smiled. She always liked getting mail from people she'd met at different schools. Heero berated her for giving out any traceable information, but it wasn't the same address she used for missions, so she failed to see the harm in it. That is, until she read further…

_Here's a fun little test I made! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

            Makoto. She'd met him a while back in a school in Okinawa, Japan. He'd inadvertently provided them with enough information to prevent the school from being blow up during fifth period one day, so she figured she owed him an e-mail at least.

            He was always asking questions about this and that. 'Too curious,' Heero had said once after Makoto inquired about the electronics he'd come across while rooting through his book bag. But he was also very observant and intelligent. 'He probably knew we were the pilots…' Duet thought, but shrugged off the deeper thoughts so she could return to the inane message.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

            Duet Julian¹ Maxine

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

            15 years, 2 months, 6 days, 14 hours, 9 minutes, and 37, no, 38, no, 39… seconds

_3. Location (precise)_

            United Arab Empire in a huge mansion own by a good friend. Pbbth...!

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            Relena/ ...whoever has something I want…

_5. Favorite color_

Black

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

Either toe socks, or my school socks

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

            Alternative, Ska, Punk, or JPop

_8. Favorite Smells_

Quatre's tea, Trowa's cologne, motor oil (Heero's shorts), Wu Fei's sword polish (can we say 'instant high'?), and Duo's hair

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Depends. Who's with me?

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

Get offa me!

_11. Can you drive?_

Not legally. 

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

If you didn't get a clue from the above answer…

_13. How often do you cry?_

Not often at all.

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Don't eat plastic doughnuts."

_15. Why?_

Because you just shouldn't! Those words of wisdom keep me going from day to day...

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

            Only if the guys eat until they're full. ((Okay, okay… Coaty, the shaved lion. I thought the hair would grow back! He's from my mom and dad))

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

            "Just Because Love And War Are Both Bitches Doesn't Mean They're Related"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location  of kiss)_

            In the sacristy of Maxwell Church, but my first REAL kiss was in the cockpit of a Leo

_19. Who was it from?_

Duo, then Milliardo.

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Coffee, er, "In my dream world, the sky is green, the grass is blue, and you're no where in sight"

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

The number two in permanent marker and the words "Property of the Starlight Hotel"

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

            "IT'S A GUNDAM!!!"

_23. How do you respond?_

            "Yep."

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

            Whoo! Now they're paying me to make out! ...hey… 

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A bird of prey

_26. What's your future child's name?_

*grins* Depends. Una, Duell, Trinity, Quatrina, or Quinn. Or I might just have to adopt...

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

            Hai!

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

            Yeah, it's kinda romantic.

_29. What's your computer's background?_

*changes Heero's background* ...a nekkid picture of Duo…

_30. What's under your bed?_

            A monster

_31. What's in your closet?_

Skeletons

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Six. English, Japanese, Spanish, German, Chinese, and HTML

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

BASKETBALL! What Gundam pilot doesn't love a good game of basketball?

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

33 since Duo wears 02

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

            A fake name, my number, an anime drawing, and the 'empty set' sign

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

            Black Crowes "She Talks To Angels" Have you ever HEARD that song?

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

            Oh, so many! Probably "In Your Words Alone" by Midorikawa Hikaru or "Ai wa Ryuusei" by Nakahara Shigeru

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

Besides ANY American pop song (what is N*SYNC smoking that they think they sound good?) uh… "Hakuna Matata" by dunno… Disney? Hate them!

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Nope. Lactose Intolerant.

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

…

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

Like chicken.

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

            Mi ropa interior! And my big, baggy pants...

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Either the front door opening or my Gundam's engine revving

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Define 'love'

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

            Dark brown, chestnut, cinnamon brown, blonde, black, or platinum blonde

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Rachel Z

_47. Why?_

Cuz I think it might have been my birth name…

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

The muffin man?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

            Because I have nothing better to do.

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

            Yes.

            Duet copied and pasted the letter she'd just typed and sent it to all the Gundam pilots. Then, she deleted all the answers she'd just typed and began filling it out as the Duet Maxine Makoto knew. Why risk one's life on an e-mail?


	2. Trowa responds

Tori: I decided to write a follow-up to the e-mail fic.

Ke: Why?

Tori: I dunno…

~*~*~*~

         Trowa sat down at the computer in the living room and flicked it on. He waited patiently the whole four seconds it took to load and connect and double-clicked his e-mail

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         Trowa looked over his shoulder at Duet, who was passed out drunk on the couch. "…"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         That weird Makoto kid… Oh well. Obviously, she only sent it to the pilots, since their e-mails were the only ones at the top, but it was still strange to see a foreign name in his letter.

         He read over Duet's answers, printed them out, and began his reply.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         N/A   Alias: Trowa Barton

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         16 years, 4 months, 18 days

_3. Location (precise)_

         United Arab Empire

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         single

_5. Favorite color_

Green

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

warm ones

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Classical, but I enjoy the occasional alternative song

_8. Favorite Smells_

Quatre's hair and Duet's body wash

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

no

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

_         …_move over…

_11. Can you drive?_

yes 

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Not when anyone's watching

_13. How often do you cry?_

I don't cry

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"It is wiser to keep you mouth shut and let people think you're a fool then to open it and prove them right."

_15. Why?_

Is it not self-explanatory?

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Chekkā the stuffed lion. Mine still has it's fur.

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

         "Silence is Golden"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         In the back of a truck

_19. Who was it from?_

Midii

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

DUKE

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

**#3 **and 'Ai Shiteru, San-san' written in permanent marker

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "IT'S A GUNDAM!!!"

_23. How do you respond?_

         By annihilating them

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         …yes… Duet, why did you send me this? 

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A lion

_26. What's your future child's name?_

I don't think that's scientifically possible, and I doubt they would let me adopt. Unless, of course, I married my other love interest.

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         Only Wu Fei's

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         Not particularly

_29. What's your computer's background?_

Clouds

_30. What's under your bed?_

         Dust bunnies

_31. What's in your closet?_

Clothes… what kind of questions are these?

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Six.English, Japanese, French, Latin, Russian, and Morse code

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

I'm going to agree with Duet and say basketball

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

03

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         I leave it blank. I have no name.

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         Possibly my image song… _Doukeshi_ by Nakahara Shigeru

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         *smirk* SR71 "Politically Correct"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

Again, agreeing with Duet, probably "Celebrity" by that generic boyband

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Yes

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Probably

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I doubt I was conscious of it

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         Duet's ropa interior… on the floor

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Quatre playing his violin or piano, Duet breathing, and silence

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Naturally

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Blondes and brunettes

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

I wouldn't change my name.

_47. Why?_

It isn't necessary

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

What?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Duet sent it to me.

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         Of course

         Trowa copied and pasted the letter he'd just typed and sent it to all the Gundam pilots just as Duet had done.  He finished just in time, because the moment he hit the send button, Duet fell of the couch and woke up.

         "Whatcha doin', Tro-man? Sending Michelle more love-letters?"

         The banged boy whirled around and glared at Duet.

         "I'm going to take that as a yes…"

         Trowa gripped the arm rest.

         "And now I'm gonna run like Hell!"

         The pair tore out of the room, Trowa hot on the braided girl's heels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Trowa: **Why is everyone picking on me and Michelle?

**Tori: **I saw it on Duet's guild page.

**Trowa: **Do you believe everything Duet says?

**Tori: **No, but I never pass up the chance to get a human reaction out of you…

**Trowa:** *glower* …


	3. Duo adds his two cents

Tori: Okay! I guess I'll do another one!

Ke: Why? Again?

Tori: I really don't know.

~*~*~*~

         Duo finished hacking the OZ computer in front of him and smiled. He popped a disc out of the ZIP drive and pocketed it, watching the reflection in the screen for any signs that the soldier were on to him. When he realized he was safe, he became a little cocky and decided to check his e-mail.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         The braided boy smirked. "Probably sending around another virus. She should scan that hentai first…"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         Ha! Makoto made up the e-mail? This should be fun…

         Duo scanned Duet's and Trowa's responses and hit the print button before filling it our himself.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Duo Vincent Maxwell

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         15 years, 11 months, 22 days young (birthday, Feb 28)

_3. Location (precise)_

         OZ base in Guam

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Duet/ Heero

_5. Favorite color_

Black

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

those really big thick ones that come up to your knee and bag over your shoes! Yeah, Duet's school socks I guess. They're comfy!

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Punk, rock, alternative, and Ska (rap and pop sucks!)

_8. Favorite Smells_

Duet's hair and Heero's… Heero smell

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

^___^ YEP!

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

Not right now!

_11. Can you drive?_

Everyone tells me I can't, but I do anyway

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

HELL YES!

_13. How often do you cry?_

…

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"When I say I'm going to kill you, you have no choice but to die."  (KENSHIN IS COOL!)

_15. Why?_

Cuz I'm the Shinigami, baby!

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Shin the stuffed panther

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

         "Fighting For Peace Is Like Screwing For Virginity" (couldn't resist!)

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         Maxwell Church

_19. Who was it from?_

Duet

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Buttons

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

The color black

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "IT'S A GUNDAM!!!"

_23. How do you respond?_

         "I hope you realize that by saying that you've just condemned yourself to death…"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         We're kissing _and_ getting money? 

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A squirrel. No, wait… a moose! Or a bird. Hmmm…

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Girl: Duell  Boy: Solo

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         Who doesn't?

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         Naw, my hair frizzes up…

_29. What's your computer's background?_

*fixes background on OZ computer* A dirty picture… OF LADY UNE!

_30. What's under your bed?_

         Playboys

_31. What's in your closet?_

Quatre. He can't seem to find his way out…

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

3 English, Japanese, and Spanish

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Basketball, but I play rough

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

02

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         SHINIGAMI and a smiley face

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         Sarah McLaughlin "Building The Mystery" At least, that's what I'm told…

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         Fuel "Innocent"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

Any song byEminem. That guy's a f****** weirdo.

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Nope. It's icky

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Yeah. There were probably bugs in that chunk of dirt Fei shoved down my throat for calling him a woman

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

Like dirt

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         I'm with Trowa.

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

People laughing, but happy, not mean or crazy like Heero does… *imitates laugh* heheheHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Am right now

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         My two favorite people have brown hair, but I don't think it's right to judge just on that, so I won't say 

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Why would I change my name? I picked it!

_47. Why?_

I LIKE Duo Maxwell

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         Huh?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Duet sent it to me, too

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         No, it was fun!

         He copied and pasted the letter he finished and got up to look for the e-mails he'd just printed. Where was the printer? Suddenly, a realization hit him. All faxes and prints went directly to…

~*~*~*~

         "What's this?" Treize muttered, plucking the sheets of paper from the printer. Slowly, he began to read.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Ke: **Hey! The story suddenly developed a plot!

**Tori: **Meh.

**Ke:** THERE YOU GO AGAIN! THAT IS SO ANNOYING!

**Tori: **Meh…


	4. Wu Fei leaves a message after the beep

Tori: Look! Another!

Ke: The readers can see…

Tori: Shut up.

~*~*~*~

            Wu Fei climbed off his mat and sat down in the computer chair. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he peered at the screen, trying to locate the icon that was beeping and flashing. "Ah," he smirked and double-clicked his e-mail.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

            "…the hell?"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

            Damn Makoto. He was weak. We Fei yawned and read over the other's responses. So far, Duet, Trowa, and Duo had attached their replies, so he printed them out and set to filling it out himself.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

            Wu Fei Chang

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

            15 years [birthday: May 14]

_3. Location (precise)_

            My room

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            Duet, even though she is a not-completely-weak-but-still-not-strong-onna

_5. Favorite color_

Red or gold

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

barefoot

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

            I don't particularly like music, but when I am subjected to it, I prefer alternative

_8. Favorite Smells_

Duet

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Only weak and pathetic people with no sense of honor sing in the shower

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

Give me some room, you stupid Onna!

_11. Can you drive?_

Does piloting a Gundam count?

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Only weak people drive slow

_13. How often do you cry?_

However often do undeserving people die

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Justice and the sword: may they never be parted."

_15. Why?_

The strong have a sense of justice and weak shouldn't be fighting because they are weak.

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

            …Sang-Sang the panda…

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

            "Honor of the Dragon"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

            Under the arch where I was married

_19. Who was it from?_

My wife, Merian, er, Nataku

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

I'm not wearing a shirt

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

Chinese characters that say "Honor is Life"

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

            "IT'S A GUNDAM!!!"

_23. How do you respond?_

            "Nataku will destroy you for stating the obvious!"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

            … 

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A dragon. There is no question.

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Li

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

            I make the best

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

            I don't particularly mind it…

_29. What's your computer's background?_

A warning against touching my computer

_30. What's under your bed?_

            nothing

_31. What's in your closet?_

…my shrine to Nataku…

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Five. English, Japanese, Chinese, Portuguese, and Russian

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Basketball, but dueling is a close second

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

05

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

            Defender of Honor and Upholder of Justice

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

            "Shinjitsu wo tsukamitore" [Grasp The Truth] by Ryuzou Ishino

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

            "Mind Education" TWO-MIX

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

I don't like rap

_39. Do you drink milk?_

No. Milk is from onna and onna are weak.

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

EATING BUGS IS DISHONORABLE!

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I wouldn't know

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

            Sadly, I must agree with my predecessors.

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

The flickering of a candle flame

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

No, but I've been married

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

            Brown or black 

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Only weaklings would dishonor themselves by changing their names!

_47. Why?_

Because you should proudly bear the name you were given!

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

            Obviously not… 

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

            If I didn't, the computer would have kept beeping at me. 

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

            Hai.

            Wu Fei copied and pasted the letter, pulled the prints from the printers, and didn't get two feet before passing out again, dead tired. Unfortunately, he landed right on poor Sang-Sang, who protested with a tiny squeak.

~*~Somewhere At OZ~*~

            "Zechs, come over here and have a look at this…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Ke: I don't think anyone wants to read these anymore…

Tori: I know, but they're fun to write! Only Heero and Quatre left for the pilots! But what about that letter Treize found…?

Ke: Ooh… o.O

Tori: …stop making fun of me…

Ke: But you were doing such a horrible job at trying to be dramatic! 


	5. Zechs is given an order

**Tori: **Amazing!

**Ke: **What?

**Tori: **People like it!

~*~*~*~

         "What is this?" Zechs asked, taking the printed papers and shuffling through them.

         "It's some sort of chain letter being sent around to the Gundam pilots, I believe," Treize replied, arching an eyebrow at some of the responses. With a laugh, he began reading the beginng.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "So it's from a Gundam pilot to start with…"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "I've never heard of anyone named Makoto piloting a Gundam," Zechs sighed, ready to write the e-mails off as fakes.

         "But just look at this information. It couldn't be anyone but them." Treize got an evil glint in his eye.

         "Just what are you thinking, sir?" the platinum-haired man frowned, backing up a step.

         "Zechs Marquise, in exchange for the information they have sent us regarding their location and weaknesses, I would like you to fill this out on you own, all true just as it requires, and send it to the designated e-mail addresses,"

         "But sir-"

         "Just do it. I need to go speak to the soldiers stationed in the computer lab. And, send it around to some others, why don't you? I'm sure your dear sister would _love_ to see Heero's should he respond." With that, Treize stalked out of the room, leaving Zechs almost in tears.

         "But I donwanna…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Milliardo Peacecraft

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         19 years, 6 months

_3. Location (precise)_

         My office

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Noin {Maxine, stay AWAY from my sister!}

_5. Favorite color_

maroon

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

cotton socks

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Latin

_8. Favorite Smells_

coffee in the morning

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

…no…

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"My head hurts…"

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes.

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

I drive the speed limit… or slightly over

_13. How often do you cry?_

Never

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names."

_15. Why?_

You have to know who to watch out for.

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Boaty the bear

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

         "Prince Without a Kingdom"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         …in the cockpit of a Leo…

_19. Who was it from?_

…Maxine…

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

My rank badges and buttons.

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"It's early. I'm still tired. What the hell do you want?"

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "Hello, sir."

_23. How do you respond?_

         …? "Hello"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         With who?

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A chameleon

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Rosalie or Zachary

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         On occasions

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         No

_29. What's your computer's background?_

The OZ Lion

_30. What's under your bed?_

         Dirty clothes

_31. What's in your closet?_

My uniforms

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Five.Japanese, English, Latin, French, and Spanish

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Sad to say, basketball. But I also enjoy golf.

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

06

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         Lieutenant Zechs Marquise

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         "Nothin' On My Back" Sum41

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Movies" Alien Ant Farm

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

Songs I wait twenty minutes to download only to find out they're karaoke.

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Yes

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

I imagine

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I don't remember

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         My ratty old sweat pants that Noin keeps telling me to throw out

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Rain on leaves

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Yes

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

          Black

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

…I don't know… Zechs Marquise?

_47. Why?_

…

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

          Is he the man that lives in my muffin?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Treize's orders. 

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         Yes, because I had to fill it out.

         Zechs typed in the addresses on top of the letter, and added those of his sister, Noin, Treize, Lady Une, and Dorothy. "…make me fill this out… Oh, you'll pay…" he grumbled and hit the 'Send' button.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Hehehe…

**Ke: **You're an insult to FanFiction.Net authors, you know that!? 


	6. Relena answers the call

**Tori: **Thank you, reviewers!Here's another one!

**Ke: **Now you've got her all self-confident… I took me MONTHS to get her to depend on me!

**Tori: **There, there, Ke. *pats him on the head* You can be my paperweight!

~*~*~*~

         Relena sat down at the computer in her room and opened her e-mail. She blinked her bright aqua eyes as a forwarded message appeared. Usually, she only received personal letters and replies. Curiosity got the better of her and she opened it.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "Why did I get this letter?" she frowned and checked the other addresses it'd been sent to. "Hmmm… My brother forwarded this to me?"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         Relena read over the five before hers and paused for a second on Zechs's. "Who is Maxine?" she pondered, then recalled the letters before his. "My brother and Duet!? But Duet is…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Relena Darlain Peacecraft

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         15 years, 8 months

_3. Location (precise)_

         My room

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Duet/ Heero {I will date whom I please, dear brother}

_5. Favorite color_

rose and lavender

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

big, thick ankle socks

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Classical, but I do like some pop songs

_8. Favorite Smells_

the garden after a spring rain

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

yes

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"What a beautiful day!" …even if it isn't…

_11. Can you drive?_

No

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Pagan does some times.

_13. How often do you cry?_

As often as I feel the desire to

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Make love, not war."

_15. Why?_

Wars are senseless, but love is something you can hold onto to give you strength.

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Yes! The stuffed bear Heero gave me! ^___^ I named him Heeko!

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

         "Struggle For Peace"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         On the bench near the fountain on my school's campus

_19. Who was it from?_

*blush* I, er… Quatre

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Flowers

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

It's a photo mug, with a picture of all my friends on it!

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         Hello, Miss Relena.

_23. How do you respond?_

         Please, just Relena.

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         You needn't pay me… I own Europe.

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A blue jay

_26. What's your future child's name?_

I've always liked the name Anastasia, but Heero or Duet would go for that.

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         Of course!

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         If it's a light rain, but not a storm

_29. What's your computer's background?_

A picture of a sunset

_30. What's under your bed?_

         My secret collection of Sailor Moon paraphernalia

_31. What's in your closet?_

My secret collection of Ah! My Goddess paraphernalia

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Six.Japanese, English, French, Latin, German, Spanish and I'm working on my Russian.

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Tennis, but baseball is fun to watch!

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

Oh, I don't have a number for tennis…

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         Relena

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         "I'm Sensitive" by Jewel

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Hang" by Matchbox20

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

Ummm… I don't really like Madonna, more because of her image than songs, but she makes me angry

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Of course!

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Oh, I hope not

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I don't know…

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         A big tee-shirt that hangs all the way to my knees. I wear it as pajamas.

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Heero talking and Duet singing, but neither happens too often

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

I am human…

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

          Brown hair. Brown is the color of comfort.

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Elizabeth

_47. Why?_

It's such a pretty name.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

          I'm sorry, no…

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         It looked like fun! 

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         No, not at all!

         Relena copied and pasted the letter, and hit the forward button. "There," she smiled and turned to pulled the responses she'd printed from those before her. "I think some of my brother's men should like to see this. My he consider this payment for trying to hurt my Heero and kissing my Duet." She plucked Zech's e-mail off the top and left to find the Xerox machine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Here's Relena's! Next on the list…

**Ke: **HEERO!

**Tori: **Plus a bonus mini-theater! 


	7. It's got Heero now too!

**Tori: **Now, as requested… HEERO YUY!

**Ke: **This should prove to be interesting…

**Tori: **Hn. Everyone's been requesting it…

~*~*~*~

         Preparing for another round of Minesweeping fun, Heero grabbed a beer out of the mini-fridge in the corner of his room and plopped down on his unmade bed in front of his laptop. "Alright, Mr. Happy-Face-Sunglasses-Wearing-Dude… Prepare to meet your match." He was, of course, referring to the tiny smiley .gif between the scores.

         Snapping open his can of Sapporo, he took a long sip before fixing his gaze on the screen again. "Mail?" he asked himself as the icon in the middle beeped. The Perfect Soldier double-clicked it open and blinked a few times at the new message.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "Interesting… Duet only addressed it to us, but there are already six responses…" Heero scanned the addresses on top until he came across a few unfamiliar ones. "These are OZ e-mails…" He opened the replies attached to the letter and hit print, sending the wireless signal to the printer downstairs.

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "Alright… I'll play your little game, OZ. I'll win it too!" He minimized his Minesweeper game and cracked his knuckles.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Heero Yuy

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         16 years, 1 month, 17 days [birthday: January 17]

_3. Location (precise)_

         My room

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Relena or Duet or Duo, I can't decide. Wu Fei has been looking pretty good lately as well…

_5. Favorite color_

gray

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

clean ones

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Anything loud and fast

_8. Favorite Smells_

extinguished matches and the first bit of air out of a whip cream can 

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

…if a tree falls in the woods and no one's around to hear it, does it make a sound?

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"Stop hogging the covers!"

_11. Can you drive?_

You be the judge. (runs over a mailbox)

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Very, very fast

_13. How often do you cry?_

I was not trained to cry

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Omea o korosu."

_15. Why?_

Because I will.

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Pokey. He's a stuffed turtle. Go to hell.

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

         "Omea o Korosu"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         in an OZ hangar

_19. Who was it from?_

I don't kiss and tell

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Who says I wearing a shirt?

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"Omea o korosu" in 8 different languages!

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "AHHHHH! IT'S A GUNDAM!!!"

_23. How do you respond?_

         "AHHHHH! IT'S A MASS-PRODUCED TIN CAN!!!"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         With who?

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

I am an animal. Human beings are animals. We're ruthless, cunning…

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Dominic or Samantha

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         When Wu Fei makes them

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         Sure, I can count it as a shower.

_29. What's your computer's background?_

A picture of a lightning storm

_30. What's under your bed?_

         A baseball bat in case Duo tried to sneak into my room again.

_31. What's in your closet?_

A really big gun incase the baseball bat breaks.

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Japanese, English, Spanish, Portuguese, French, Latin, German, Sign Language, Morse Code, and Mandarin to make an even ten.

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Basketball

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

01

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         "**Omea o Korosu**" and then "~Heero Yuy" really small.

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         Savage Garden "Gunning Down Romance"

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         Eve 6 "Nightmare"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

The Veggie Tales theme song. I don't talk to tomatoes, I don't find squash amusing in the least, nor do I dance with potatoes, Duet.

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Could I bounce on my head if I didn't?

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Yes.

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I was trying to focus on the chocolate around it.

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         Ropa interior? Isn't that her… Oh, yes. I agree. Relena's too. Funny though, I don't think Duet wears any…

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Naga's laugh. You know, the girl from Slayers? Seems like I'm the only one who likes it though.

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

…

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Blonde or brown

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

I wouldn't

_47. Why?_

My name means "The One And Only" and I like it.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         …the hell?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         To tell you the truth, I don't know…

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         *shrugs* Meh…

         Heero copied and pasted the letter before returning to his version of Minesweeper called "Omea o korosu, ureshii yarou" where he deemed it his mission to detonate a mine on his first turn, rather than evade them all.

~*~**BONUS MINI-THEATER**~*~

         Downstairs, Chibi-Duet was walking through the study to get the paper when she notice the documents in the printer. She realized these were the e-mails she'd sent everyone and smiled. "So, they actually took me seriously." Pawing through them she came across two very interesting ones. "Relena and Milliardo?" she sweatdropped. Her eye began to twitch as she read them. 

         "STAY AWAY FROM YOUR SISTER!? 'SCUSE ME, SIR, BUT I WILL DATE YOUR SISTER AS I PLEASE AND MAYBE I'LL EVEN SLEEP WITH HER! SO THERE!"

         At that moment, Chibi-Quatre walked in, sipping his tea. He immediately spat it out. Duet whirled around. "I'M TELLING DUO!!!" Quatre laughed, tearing out of the room with the braided bi in hot pursuit.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **I hope you liked the "Messy Topless Heero Sitting In Front Of Laptop" imagery.

**Ke: **…we all know Tori did…

**Tori: **I want a beer now too… 


	8. Noin replies

**Tori: **Wow, this fic he grown a LOT!

**Ke: **More than either of us ever intended…

**Tori: **DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU, READERS!

**Ke: **Erm.. *pokes Tori* Seems like we've had a visitor…

**Tori: **Well, well… Duet is a stinky-butt poophead. *sticks tongue out at Duet* I apologize to anyone who had the pleasure of meeting her on her reviewing rampage…

**Ke: **You have to learn to control your characters.

**Tori: **She's not mine, she never will be mine, and I have never claimed to own her. She is her own person! 

**Ke: **Uh-huh...

**Tori: **I swear on my honor as a doujinshi translator!

**Ke: **O.O Alright already! Jeeze!

**Tori: **Heh heh heh… You all thought "Behind the Gundanium" was a joke, didn't you?

~*~*~*~

            Noin ran her fingers through her hair and smiled as she sat down at her desk. She slouched a bit and took a sip of her coffee, giving the computer screen an unfocused stare, but something caught her attention.

            "Mail?' she murmured, leaning forward a little to get a better look. When she was sure she wasn't seeing things, she opened the file and began to read.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

            "What is this doing in my inbox?" Noin peered at the addresses at the top. "Oh, it must be something from Zechs…"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

            She read the replies to the letter before her and printed them out, wanting to savor the humor. "Now I suppose I owe them…" she sighed and began to fill to the answers in.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

            Lucrezia Noin

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

            19 years, 5 months

_3. Location (precise)_

            My office

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            Zechs

_5. Favorite color_

deep purple

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

regular old sweat socks

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

            American '80s music. Hootie and The Blowfish is my favorite.

_8. Favorite Smells_

wildflowers 

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

occasionally

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"…coffee…"

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes.

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

No, I drive under the speed limit.

_13. How often do you cry?_

Whenever I feel like it, okay!?

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Here's to the girl behind the man behind the gun."

_15. Why?_

Because I've got Zech's back

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

            No

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

            I don't know… "The Underdog"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

            In the art room of the Lake Victoria Academy

_19. Who was it from?_

Zechs

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Walk To Cure AIDS 193 {how long has this disease been around?}

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"Coffee First. Then War."

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

            "Hello, Instructor Noin."

_23. How do you respond?_

            "Hello." {good questions…}

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

            Never. I've seen your rooms. God only knows what your cockpits look like.

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

Something that could fly.

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Tenshi or Hikaru

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

            Only non-alcoholic ones.

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

            If I'm not alone

_29. What's your computer's background?_

The ESUN symbol

_30. What's under your bed?_

            A suitcase and some folded blankets

_31. What's in your closet?_

Clothes {again, great questions…}

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Three. Japanese, English, and German.

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

I like playing tennis with Relena, but lacrosse is my favorite

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

09

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

            "Lieutenant Noin"

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

            Monica "Right Here Waiting"

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

            Sarah McLachlan "I Will Remember You"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

Oh, I hate Ozzy Osborne

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Yes.

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

No

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I don't know.

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

            Typical boys. Mine? Probably the dress Zechs bought me for a Christmas party.

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Someone playing a sitar really soft. 

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

I am currently

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

            Platinum blonde

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Something easier to spell then Lucrezia

_47. Why?_

Because Lucrezia is difficult to spell.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

            …the hell?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

            I had absolutely nothing better to do

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

            Not particularly, Zechs.

            Noin copied and pasted the letter and was about to disconnect from the internet when another e-mail popped up. The subject read "Somebody Loves You." Not thinking clearly, she opened it.

            Suddenly, the power went out and the air raid sirens blared. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: ***giggle* The Love Bug…

**Ke: **I always suspected you were responsible, Tori…

**Tori: **Wasn't me!

**Ke: **I know. Just fishing for laughs…


	9. Treize and... Jimmy Buffet!?

**Tori: ***giggle* Here we go again!

**Ke: **Oooh. O.o* Sudden boom of E-mail Survey fics.

**Tori: ***ignoring Ke* I like mine with lettuce and tomato! Heinz 57 and French-fried potato! Big Kosher pickle and glass of beer! Oh sweet Lord, which way  do I steer!? CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE!

**Ke: ***rips Jimmy Buffet CD out of stereo and snaps it in half*

**Tori: ***lip quivers*

~*~*~*~

*At an OZ base separate from that of which Noin resides at*

            "What on Earth…?" Treize murmured as he read over the e-mails in his inbox. "What's this?" He double-clicked one that appeared to have been sent to a whole mess of people with very interesting addresses.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

            "Oh no… Not this thing…" he moaned, clicking through people's answers and printing them out. "Well, I suppose it couldn't hurt…"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

            "Crazy Gundam pilots…" he mutter after reading their responses to make sure he would answer it right. "And crazy OZ officers for that matter…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

            Treize Kushrenada

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

            24

_3. Location (precise)_

            My office

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            Lady Une

_5. Favorite color_

Royal blue

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

New ones

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

            I prefer classical music; Beethoven or Bach

_8. Favorite Smells_

Roses

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Yes, the bathroom has the best acoustics.

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"How much do I owe you?"

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes.

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Not really.

_13. How often do you cry?_

I don't cry.

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives."

_15. Why?_

…because there aren't…

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

            No

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

            "Machiavellian Rose"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

            A hospital room on X-18999

_19. Who was it from?_

Lisa Barton

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

The OZ lion seal

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"Coffee stunts your growth, can kill brain cells, and will make you extremely manic. NEW: liquid cigarettes!"

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

            "Hello, Mister Treize."

_23. How do you respond?_

            "Hello." {I agree. These are certainly quality questions.}

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

            No.

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A hunting dog.

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Well, for starters, I certainly wouldn't name him after a number…

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

            Once in a while.

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

            No.

_29. What's your computer's background?_

The OZ lion symbol

_30. What's under your bed?_

            Nothing

_31. What's in your closet?_

My mistress. What the hell do you think is in my closet, moron?

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Four. Japanese, English, Spanish and German.

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Hunting

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

I don't play sports that require numbers.

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

            "Treize Kushrenada"

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

            The Class Acts "Explode" {the one song I'll make an exception for}

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

            Jimmy Buffet "Margaritaville"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

Mmmm… I don't like loud music.

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Yes.

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Perhaps.

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I didn't actually take the time to figure that out…

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

            My spiffy boots

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

The sound of progress. 

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Have you?

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

            Brown

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Something with absolutely no relation to a number.

_47. Why?_

It's just a whim of mine.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

            Who what now?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

            I figured I owed Zechs.

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

            Hate? Such a strong word.

            Treize copied and pasted the letter and smiled to himself and his inbox appeared again. "Oh, it had an attachment…" he whispered to himself as an afterthought and clicked the paperclip. 

            "Somebody lo~ves you!" a little ladybug chirped before the room went dark and the computer shut down.

            "Strange…" Suddenly, his cell phone started ringing. He picked it up and put it to his ear.

            "MISTER TREIZE!!! ALL POWER IS OUT AT THE LAKE VICTORIA BASE!" Noin yelled over the sirens and gun shots.

            "Yes, well…" Treize looked out the window as people ran from the building in all directions. "…let's call it a Gundam attack and leave it to the Alliance to figure out…" He hung up the little phone and went to his closet. "You can come out now. No one is going to bother us…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **AHHHHHHHHHH! *covers eyes and curls into little ball on the floor* IMAGES! IMAGES!

**Ke:** Who's in the closet?

**Tori: **It's a mystery! Maybe you'll find out in the next fic!

**Ke: **It's not a closet monster, is it?

**Tori: **HAHAHA! SEAN!!! OH, SEAN! KE SAID 'CLOSET MONSTER'!!!!!


	10. Quatre gets the e-mail

**Tori: ***still singing Jimmy Buffet songs*

**Ke: **-___-* I caved in and burned her a new cd…

**Tori: **I'm wastin' away again in Margaritaville… Lookin' for my lost shaker of salt…

**Ke: **It's those innocent girlie eyes. *imitates face*  9__9

**Tori: **AHHHHHHHH! MY MUSE IS POSSESSED! *beats Ke with pack of ofudas* 

~*~*~*~

            Quatre walked out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair dry with a towel. As he walked past the computer on his desk, he did a double-take and backed up. "Mail?" he frowned and leaned down to open the message.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

            "Five names and nine responses? That's not right…" 

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

            "This was that weird thing Duet was reading…" [Duet: (wherever she is) AH-CHOO!] He quickly clicked through the others' responses and printed them out. "Okay. Why not?"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

            Quatre Raberba Winner

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

            15 [my birthday is December 8th]

_3. Location (precise)_

            My room

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            Jenn (hopefully)/ Duet/ Trowa

_5. Favorite color_

Azure

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

Tabi!

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

            Classical or JPop or alternative

_8. Favorite Smells_

Trowa's cologne and Duet's hair and rubber cement

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Sometimes

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"You have cold feet…"

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes.

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Of course not!

_13. How often do you cry?_

When I'm sad, or even when I'm not.

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Don't judge me by my failures; judge me by my dreams.""

_15. Why?_

Just…don't, okay?

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

            Yep! Rakuda the camel!

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

            "Uchuu no Kokoro"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

            Mouth-to-mouth on the cement around my pool, but if you mean actual kiss, Heavyarm's cockpit

_19. Who was it from?_

Duet and Trowa

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

I'm not wearing one  [A/N: *drool*]

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

I don't drink coffee, but I do have a China tea set!

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

            "IT'S A GUNDAM!"

_23. How do you respond?_

            "Surrender, and I'll spare your lives…"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

            Already did. I won't hold you to it though. I own outer space.

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A kitty cat

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Jasmina or Yahiko

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

            I like Wu Fei's   

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

            ^___^ Yeah! It's fun!

_29. What's your computer's background?_

A picture of the Earth from space

_30. What's under your bed?_

            I've never bothered to check

_31. What's in your closet?_

Ha, ha, ha… Nice try, guys…

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Six. Japanese, English, Latin, Arabic, Sanskrit, and French

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Basketball! 

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

04

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

            "Quatre"

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

            Ai Orikasa "I'm Your Friend"

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

            BBMak "Ghost of You and Me"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

            I don't like music that curses too much

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Yes!

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

I don't think so…

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I… don't… know…

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

            I like my shoes. They're comfy!  [A/N: I LOVE YOUR SHOES TOO!!! I'm finished…]

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Wind chimes

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

I… am in love. Right now.

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

            Oh… Brown hair!

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

I like my name.

_47. Why?_

Because I do!

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

            Oh! I saw this movie! He's, um… The green one?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

            For fun

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

            No, not at all.

            Quatre copied and pasted the letter and was about to open the attachment when another e-mail appeared. "A letter from Heero?" He opened it quickly, as it was probably something important. "Quatre- Do not open the attachment on Duet's quiz. It is a virus I sent to OZ. –Heero" the blonde boy read aloud and breathed a sigh of relief. "That was a close one! Hmmm… I wonder if Hilde and Cathy got this. But I'll delete the virus of course! ^___^"

***Bonus Mini-Theater 2***

            Treize swung open the closet door to reveal Duet gagged and bound. Her hair was undone and she was bleeding from several severe cuts along her arms and legs. "Ah, you're still awake," he smirked as she turned her eyes up to look at him. "It's all right. You're only bait. Soon your idiot comrades will come looking for you and I'll kill you pilots once and for all…"

*Back at the House*

            Trowa looked up from the book in his hands and frowned. "It's quiet. Too quiet… DUO!" he bellowed and the braided boy poked his head around the door frame.

            "You yelled?" 

            "Where's Duet?" 

"She went out to get some groceries."

"That was seven hours ago…"An awkward silence fell and the two boys stared at one another a few seconds before leaping to their feet and rushing off to collect the other pilots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **…Jenn…? Oooh… *THAT* Jenn… As in neopets? ^___^  GO QUATRE!

**Ke:** Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Jenn! Let's all wave to Jenn!

**Everyone: ***highly exaggerated waves* 

**Tori: **Okay, I think we've embarrassed her enough. But Quatre _did_ have her on that list. The only thing I changed was the age since they're 15 in all my fics.

**Ke: **What's gonna happen to Duet!? Did Treize…?

**Tori: **Well, she's been with everyone else on the show… Why not?

**Ke: **O.o* Because…

**Tori: **The I'll leave it up to the readers to decide for themselves. I don't much like the idea either… *shudder*

**Ke: **I think this could have been why Duet played all those mean pranks on you.

**Tori: **Naw, she was just PMSing…

**Ke:** *massages forehead* I foresee a manic braided girl with lighter fluid… She is setting your apartment on fire… ****


	11. Lady, er, Colonel, er Midii Une!

**Ke: ***camera fills with Ke's furry face* Um, hi! I'm the real star of these fic, as you already probably know-

**Tori: **Ke! Get away from that! *punts Ke across the room* Sorry. Lemme get that… *adjust camera to focus on herself*

**Ke: **How is that better!?

**Tori: **Now, for the next fic! *presses play and the fic starts*

~*~*~*~

         "Oh! What's this?" Lady Une asked herself as her inbox maximized itself in the middle of her progress report. OZ had to re-load all its files after a mysterious virus knocked out the computers at two of the bases. She opened the letter and began to read.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "This isn't for me… But does have Treize's name on it, so…" Her curiosity go the better of her and she continued. 

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "Okay!" Flipping her unbound hair over one shoulder, she smiled and printed out the other responses before typing in her own.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Midii Une

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         N/A

_3. Location (precise)_

         My office

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Treize

_5. Favorite color_

light brown

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

100% cotton

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Classical or soft rock

_8. Favorite Smells_

Roses and daffodils

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Once in a while

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"I don't have cold feet!"

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes.

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Not really.

Lady Une squinted at the screen and fished around in her pocket for her glasses case. "I can't see a thing… My vision is getting worse every day," she sighed and placed her glasses on her nose.

_13. How often do you cry?_

Only fools cry.

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"You may have won the battle, but you'll surely loose the war."

_15. Why?_

It is true for those fool Gundam pilots that plague us constantly.

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         No, of course not.

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

          "A Tale of Two Souls"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         An OZ base on L3

_19. Who was it from?_

No Name

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

My rank buttons and medals.

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"Coffee for two, please."

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "Hello, Lady Une."

_23. How do you respond?_

         Usually, I don't.

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         No

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A lioness

_26. What's your future child's name?_

I don't think I want children.

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         No

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         No

_29. What's your computer's background?_

The OZ lion seal

_30. What's under your bed?_

         A fold-away cot

_31. What's in your closet?_

Extra pillows and blankets, and clothes

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Three. Japanese, English, and French

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

War 

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

I don't have a number

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         "Lady Une"

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         "Of Two Minds" Himemeia Kinoko  

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Foolish Games" Jewel

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

         The "Gina" juice jingle

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Sometimes

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

No

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I didn't

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         My gun holster

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

The cocking of a flintlock

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

More than you know

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Golden-blonde

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Kelly

_47. Why?_

It's a nice name

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         Should I?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Treize sent it to me

         "This is giving me a headache," Lady Une growled, plucking her glasses off her nose and resting them on top of the computer. 

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         Of course not, Mr. Treize

         Lady Une copied and pasted the letter. "Hmmm… I think Marimeia might have some fun with this!" _Click!_

***Bonus Mini-Theater 3***

         "We've searched the entire house! Where could that woman be!?" Wu Fei yelled, trying hard not to show any concern.

         "Did she ever come home…?" Quatre asked, looking from Duo to Heero, to Trowa, and Wufei.

         "NO!" they replied in unison and raced for the phone. "RELENA!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Stupid, stupid, stupid science/ literature class assignment…

**Ke:** Even I feel sorry for her.

**Tori: **I wrote my whole sci-fi story only to hear my teacher say we can't use guns.

**Ke:** *whispers* The whole story revolves around guns, and Tori has the main character shot to death.

**Tori: **It was a happy ending!

**Ke: **Hehehe… The assignment was to write a story with yourself as one of the characters, and acting as you would act.

**Tori: **No, I didn't make myself the main chara. I just… you know what? I'll post it.

**Ke: **Her science was La Grange Points-

**Tori: **Which do exist!

**Ke:** She also managed to cram some Gundam Wing, X/1999 and Trigun references in there. AND the word "Meh" which actually plays a pretty large part.

**Tori: **The main character is Duet a.k.a. Juni Darlain. Hehehe… And the Colony is L2. I'll post my data too.


	12. Doro-chan!!!

**Ke: **Tori is lazy.

**Tori: **I am lazy…

**Ke: **Tori takes forever to update.

**Tori: **I HAVE A JOB!

**Ke: ***whispers* Current financial predicament: Think Niea_7…

~*~*~*~

         "Mail?" frowned Dorothy as a blinking box popped up to interfere with her rousing game of solitaire. She opened the new message and read it aloud.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "La! Duet must have forgotten to add my name! But since it's from her, it must be something good." After a moment of careful deliberation, she added, " But I really hope it isn't a link to one of those hentai pages again…" 

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "WHO'S MAKOTO!?" the blonde girl cried, and suddenly the computer felt very threatened.. She took a few deep breaths, returned her fencing foil back to its sheath, sat down, and the computer beeped in relief. "Well, I'll just have to answer this better than whateverhisnameis did! But first… I'll print these out!" The last part was only because she had just recently noticed the other replies. She grabbed the papers as they fell out of the printer and shuffled through them until she found Duet's and Relena's. "It's worse than I thought! She's leaving me for some pretty little blonde! …But _I'm_ a pretty little blonde, too! Looks like I'll have to start a beautiful war…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Dorothy Catalonia

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         15

_3. Location (precise)_

         My dorm

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Duet/ Heero, if I'm lucky!

_5. Favorite color_

Deep red

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

I prefer to walk around barefoot, thank you

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Anything loud and fast. The more Uncle Treize hates it, the better.

_8. Favorite Smells_

The scent of victory

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Never

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"Make me move. I dare you."

_11. Can you drive?_

Of course

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

I age thirty extra seconds every hundred miles

_13. How often do you cry?_

However often Quatre makes me cry

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Two things greater than all things are; the first is love the second is war."

_15. Why?_

Isn't it self-explanatory?

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Strife, the one-eyed alligator

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

          "The Beauty Of War"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         In a bar on L4

_19. Who was it from?_

Who do you think?

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

The German flag

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

A rather deranged-looking squirrel clutching a pot of coffee

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         The don't say anything.

_23. How do you respond?_

         By ignoring them.

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         La? Of course!

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A snake

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Veronica or Jason

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         Yes

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         Yes, especially in storms

_29. What's your computer's background?_

Erm, I'd rather not say… 

_30. What's under your bed?_

         My diary, some old notes, and my secret Battle Athletes DVD collection

_31. What's in your closet?_

Star Wars paraphernalia

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Five. Japanese, English, Latin, German, and French

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Baseball

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

42, of course! 

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         "Dorothy" in devil-horn parentheses

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         "Bitch" Meredith Brooks  

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Running From An Angel" Hootie & the Blowfish

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

         "Teen Angst" Cracker

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Never

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

What?

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I doubt it would have tasted very good if I had…

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         My fencing suit

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

The sounds of war

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Yes

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Brown

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Maria

_47. Why?_

So people would stop asking me where my ruby slippers are.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         Who wants to know?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         To remind Duet that she belongs to me.

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         I could never hate you, Duet

         Dorothy copied and pasted the letter and smiled to herself. "That ought to show her…"

***Bonus Mini-Theater 4***

         "No, I'm sorry… She hasn't been here all week," Relena said, cradling the phone. "Oh! That's terrible! You haven't seen her all day? Well, I'll call around. *laughs* Yes, you know how she can be sometimes. She's not a _tame_ girl… I'll check with you later. … You too, Quatre. Alright, bye!" She placed the phone back on the hook and furrowed her brow in worry. "What could have… OZ!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Ack! Running out of charas, fast! I might have to draw on other random characters! 

**Ke:** Oh, God… It's "The Big Date" all over again…

**Tori: **If and when you review, tell me who I missed and who YOU want to see answer this letter!

**Ke:** And don't even say authors. Tori's got a different assignment for you guys…

**Tori: ***bashes Ke with hammerspace mallet* THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET!

**Ke: `**(x-x)'

**Trowa: **+_\\\

**Tori: **-___-* Guys, stop…

**Ke: **`(^-^)'

**Trowa: **///_^

**Tori: ***¬__¬ You two look almost gleeful when you make me mad.

**Trowa: **///__O* Thaaat's not safe…

**Ke: **`(O-o)' Woah. I didn't think they even MADE licenses for those!

**Tori: **=___= …they don't… *hoists giant authoress pen* I WILL NOT HAVE MY FICS TURNED INTO RANDOM DOODLE BOARDS!

**Trowa & Ke: **SHE'S GONE OFF THE DEEP END!!!!


	13. Howard comes across something interestin...

**Tori: **WOW! I got some REALLY AWESOME suggestions!!!

**Ke: **…that's my job…

**Tori: **I can't believe I forgot Sally… But a BIG sankyuu to **CT and Shiro Kitsune!!!**

**Ke: **They had the great ideas for the doctors!

**Tori: **But I think I'll have to do my absolute FAVORITE old guy in the show… Howard! Domo arigatou to **OmightyWifeOfShinigami!!!**

**Ke: **HOWARD!?!?!? But… You… YOU BASTARDIZED HIS SHIRT!!!

**Tori: ***still laughing about the 'Sailor Moon' stuff I put on his shirt* Twas a great joke…

~*~*~*~

         Howard sat down in the Washi Ookami's cockpit and scratched the back of his head. "Crazy kid… Just dumps her problems in the middle of my scrap yard whenever she needs them fixed…" he mumbled jokingly and flashed a smile.

         "What's this?" he asked as her inbox flashed up on the display screen in front of the pilots chair. Curiosity got the better of him and he opened the first letter.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "Sending mail to herself, I see…"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "Oh, it's something that was sent back to her. Well, let's just try this out…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Howard

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         52

_3. Location (precise)_

         Duet's cockpit

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         none

_5. Favorite color_

Hawaiian print

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

No socks, man, just sandals

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Hula or maybe those spiffy protest songs…

_8. Favorite Smells_

The sea breeze

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Naw

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"…it's another tequila sunrise…"

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Why rush life?

_13. How often do you cry?_

God's never given me a reason…

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Just go with the flow…"

_15. Why?_

No sense in worrying about the inevitable…

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Nope

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

          "Hawaiian Fetishes and Space Wars"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         Back of a van…

_19. Who was it from?_

Some crazy girl. I never saw her again.

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Little palm trees

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

Little palm trees

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "Hey, Howard!"

_23. How do you respond?_

         "Hey, man!"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         *looks around cockpit and shivers* My romance days are over…

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A sloth. They really know how to relax…

_26. What's your future child's name?_

No children in my future…

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         They're, like, my lifeblood…

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         Whatever floats your boat…

_29. What's your computer's background?_

         A Hawaiian beach 

_30. What's under your bed?_

         Machine parts

_31. What's in your closet?_

A lifetime supply of Hawaiian shirts

_32. How many languages do you speak? (list)_

Two. Japanese and English

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Sunbathing

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

No need for numbers… 

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         Howard

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         "Free Bird" Led Zeppelin 

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Mr. Jones" Counting Crows

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

         True music is from the soul… I can't judge that

_39. Do you drink milk?_

It keeps my bones strong…

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Yeah.

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

Like bug spray…

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         My Hawaiian shirt with the little palm trees on it. Or the one about Sailor Moon [A/N: I couldn't resist… ^___^]

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

The waves lapping against the shore…

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Yes

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Doesn't matter

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Why would I change my name?

_47. Why?_

Hey, I asked you first.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         Knew him. I ate him for breakfast.

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Now that I think about it, I don't know…

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         Well, technically, you never sent it to me..

         Howard copied and pasted the letter and smiled to himself before getting on with the cockpit adjustments.

***Bonus Mini-Theater 5***

         By now, the entire posse was on high alert. Duet was officially missing. OZ was officially having problems. And Elvis was officially dead.

         "She could be anywhere!" Quatre cried as he paced behind Heero, who was working frantically on the humongous computer in front of him. Everyone have retreated into the pilots' underground safe house and they were growing steadily more worried.

         "OZ," Trowa said finally, removing his headset. The others looked at him and nodded.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: ***does happy dance* I'm co~ming to the Sta~tes! I'm Co~ming to the sta~tes!

**Ke:** *singing under his breath*Japan is finally getting rid of her… Japan is finally getting rid of her…

**Tori: **I enjoy banishment! ^___^ Some mistakes are too much fun to make just once.

**Ke: **Oi, I was just kidding! What did you do wrong?

**Tori: **Um, nothing…

**Zashi: ***runs by screaming, her hair on fire*

**Ke: ***holds face in paws* She's not my authoress…


	14. Damn, this new setup is confusing... Erm...

**Tori: **Great April Fool's Day Joke awards go to Heero Yuy for "The Duo/Duet Breakup" and Xing Li (owner of FF.N) for "I Delete Your Stuff" on the front page!

**Ke:** You're cruising for a bruising…

**Tori: **Anyway, the company got us this adorable little house! It's got one floor and two bedrooms and a cute kitchen and a little living room and a little office with two computers and-

**Ke: ***knocks on Tori's head* No one cares.

**Tori: **DUET IS NO FUN TO SHOP WITH!!!

**Ke: **…random…

~*~*~*~

         Marimeia smiled happily as her computer flickered on. On the internet, she could be anyone, not restricted to the limitations her age set on her. "E-mail!" she squealed happily and opened it. Her in-box only held two other letters, and they were both from Lady Une.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "^___^ The Gundam pilots sent me a letter!"

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "Alright! I'm part of the posse now!" she grinned and cracked her knuckles before she began to type.

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Marimeia Kushrenada

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         7

_3. Location (precise)_

         My OFFICE

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         I'm still free, Hee-chan!

_5. Favorite color_

Cobalt blue

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

Clean ones

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         I like romantic love song because they make me think of Heero!

_8. Favorite Smells_

Fresh baked bread

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

No…

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"OHAYO!"

_11. Can you drive?_

No

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

I can't drive! I already told you!

_13. How often do you cry?_

Sometimes

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"When I die, I want to come back as a butterfly…because no one EVER suspects the butterfly!" ¹

_15. Why?_

I could get away with so much more than being cute!

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Yeah! Rei² the giraffe

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

          "It's In The Kushrenada Blood"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         I haven't been kissed.

_19. Who was it from?_

I want it to be from Heero!

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Care Bears

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

A pony

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "Hello, Miss Kushrenada."

_23. How do you respond?_

         "Hi!"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         With Heero!

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

I said a butterfly!

_26. What's your future child's name?_

I don't know yet…

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         I never had one.

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         Not really.

_29. What's your computer's background?_

         An ugly OZ lion… 

_30. What's under your bed?_

         Shoujo manga!

_31. What's in your closet?_

My clothes

_32. How many languages _s_ do you speak? (list)_

Two. Japanese and English

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Swimming

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

I don't have a number 

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         Marimeia Kushrenada, The Daughter Of Treize Kushrenada

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         "It Was You" Ashley Ballard 

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Good Times Gone" Nickleback

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

         I HATE BOY BANDS! ICK!

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Aunt Une makes me!

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Maybe

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I don't know

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         A big tee-shirt that I borrowed from Heero once and he never asked for back!

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Heero's voice!

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

I AM in love!

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Heero-colored hair!

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Marimeia Yuy

_47. Why?_

Because that would mean I married Heero!.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         Sorry no.

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Because a Gundam pilot asked me to!

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         No! Send me more!

         It took her a while, but Marimeia copied and pasted the letter and sent it around. She sighed to herself and continued to doodle Heero's name all over her mouse pad.

***Bonus Mini-Theater 6***

**Chibi**

         Duet watched with hate-filled eyes as Treize paced in front of her. "What to do with you until they get here, what to do…" the megalomaniac murmured to himself.

         "You could let me go…"

         "But then you'd try to escape."

         "Naw, too clichéd. Wanna play strip poker?"

         "HOT DAMN!" Treize miraculously produced his fixed poker deck from his Megalomaniac Hammerspace Pocket™ and untied Duet's wrists.

         "Ja ne!" Deut yelled, sprinting for the open window and jumping out.

         "But… you promised…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Different…

**Ke:** Uh, you put tiny numbers in again?

**Tori: **Oh yes… 1. a quote from a user on the Method: Cosplay forum. 2. The old way to say zero in Japanese, before it was replaced with the newer "Zero"

**Ke: **Why do you have her obsessed with Heero?

**Tori: **That brilliant idea belong to Talon! But here it's more of a childhood crush, as she's only seven.

**Ke: **Seven? But the other pilots are all 15 in this story, which would mean she's-

**Tori: **Shut up. A minor plot device.

**Ke: **OH YEAH! YOU WENT THROUGH AND CHANGED ALL THEIR AGES BACK TWO YEARS!!!

**Tori: ***facefaults*

**Ke: **But you couldn't do that to Marimeia because she'd only be five…


	15. Sally checks up

**Tori: **I want to see if I can break 200 reviews!

**Ke:** And then will you stop writing this stupid story?

**Tori: **I'll stop writing when the story is over, not whenever I feel like giving up.

**Ke: ***sarcastic* …very inspiring…

**Tori: **And then I might get around to translating more of "Young Love". I brought some with me! ^____^

**Ke: **YEAH!!!! *happy ferret dance*

**Tori: **And Talon, don't worry about you're e-mail… I already know where it's going… *evil laughter*

**Ke: **Dear God… LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!! *gestures to Tori, who is laughing manically and explaining her evil little plan to a potted plant*

~*~*~*~

            Sally sat down in front of the computer in her office with the intent of checking, re-checking, and cross-checking the medical files on a certain Perfect Soldier for the fourth time that day. For some reason, when she added up all his data, it didn't even come close the normal standards of a teenage male, or female for that matter. His physical stamina, his bone density… everything was above average.

            It wasn't like she particularly cared at that moment. It was more likely she had nothing better to do. Sighing discontentedly, she opened her inbox on the off-chance that someone had actually sent her something and was surprised to see an actual 'friendly' letter. 

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

            "I suppose I can count this as studies," Sally mused, opening Heero's attachment and printing it.

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

            She scanned it quickly and smiled. "So, he _is_ human…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

            Sally Po

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

            19

_3. Location (precise)_

            My office

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            Noin/ Wu-bear

_5. Favorite color_

Orange

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

Any kind, as long as they don't have holes

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

            Anything but whiny teenagers singing about their broken hearts

_8. Favorite Smells_

Orange juice

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Yes

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"Call me woman one more time and I'll kick your head in."

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Fast, but not well

_13. How often do you cry?_

I don't cry

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"Experience is the worst teacher. It gives the test before presenting the lesson."

_15. Why?_

Life has to be complicated that way, or else it wouldn't be nearly as exciting.

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

            No

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

             "It Broke, And DAMNIT I Had To Fix It Again!"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

            On a branch in an oak tree in the woods behind the pilots' safehouse

_19. Who was it from?_

Wu Fei

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Toby, the Shoujocon mascot

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

Nothing. It's a hand-made one.

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

            "Hello, Miss Po."

_23. How do you respond?_

            "Hello." (I don't get it…)

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

            With Wu Fei, yes.

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A flying squirrel

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Li, I suppose

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

            Mmm, only Fei's

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

            I don't mind

_29. What's your computer's background?_

            The Preventer insignia 

_30. What's under your bed?_

            I sleep on a futon

_31. What's in your closet?_

My clothes

_32. How many languages _s_ do you speak? (list)_

Six. Japanese, English, Latin, German, Russian, and Chinese

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Tennis

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

I don't have a number 

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

            Sally Po M.D.

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

            The Class Acts "Going Nowhere"

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

            TWO-MIX "Mind Education"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

            The Spice Girls

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Yes, but only for health purposes

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Yes

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

I'm not sure, but you eat at least 1lbs of bugs a year.

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

            My big, warm slippers

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Wu Fei pulling into the parking lot in the morning

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

I am very much in love

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

            Black. Pure, unadulterated black.

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Sally Po

_47. Why?_

I like my name

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

            No, but I can send you to a few people who probably do…

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

            Just for fun

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

            Not really

            Sally copied and pasted the letter and sent it back out before minimizing her inbox. The phone next to her began ringing madly and she picked it up. 

            "Hello?"

            "SALLY! WE NEED YOUR HELP!"

***Bonus Mini-Theater 7***

**Chibi**

            Outside the Vienna, Austria, OZ base, lurked five Gundams and two cars full of Duet's non-pilot friends. "COMMENCE!" Heero boomed and the tiny army moved forward the on the building that was just recovering for it's recent bout with the "Love Bug". 

            At that same moment, Duet was untangling herself from the rose bushes beneath Treize's window. She caught sight of the advancing suits and began jumping up and down and yelling and generally trying to get their attention. Unfortunately, the pilots didn't see her quite in time.

            Wing Zero. _STOMP!_

Deathscythe. _SQUISH!_

Heavyarms. _WHOMP!_

Sandrock. _BAM!_

Nataku. _PIP!_

Relena's pink limo. _VROOM!_

Dorothy's gold tank, er, limo. _SCREECH!_

When the dust cleared, it revealed Duet lying face-down in the bottom of a rather larger, rather deep footprint. "…itai…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **^___^ Satisfying!

**Duet:** You just HAD to do that, didn't you!? *dusts self off as Ke wraps her in-expertly in gauze bandages*

**Tori: **Ke, stop Playing Favorites with the characters!

**Ke: **Tori, stop shameless plugging your other stories!

**Tori: ***covers mouth* It slipped!


	16. Hilde hits us back!

**Tori: ***yawn* Been up really late grading… papers… *falls asleep*

**Ke:** I'm her aid! `(^-^)' *holds up administrative ID card*

**Tori: ***talking in sleep* …kids… shut up… stop calling me names in Spanish… I can understand you… DEMERIT! *yawns and rolls over*

**Ke: **`(O-o)' You should have heard what she was talking about last night!

**Tori: **Que el infierno? …Duet, why are you in my class…? …mistake teaching you Spanish…

**Ke: ***mimicking* …Talon-kun…? Where are you, Talon…? Oh! Roses…? For me…?

**Tori: ***snaps awake* 

**Ke: ***still making fun of sleeping authoress*Oh! Roses…? For me…? 

**Tori: ***looms up behind Ke, eye twitching* DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~*~*~*~

         "Hmmmm hm mmmmm…' Hilde hummed happily as she opened her inbox.

         "You've got mail!" exclaimed an automated voice. She scrolled up to the top, only finding one new message. 

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "This has certainly been forwarded a lot… Must be something funny!" she smirked, reading on.

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         The German girl laughed and clicked through a couple of their responses. She hit the print button and prepared to type over her soul…

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Hilde Shubeiker

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         15

_3. Location (precise)_

         At my computer in my living room.

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Don't have one, but I have my eye on someone! / Duo, I suppose

_5. Favorite color_

Lavender

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

Ones with designs.

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Pop! J and A mostly

_8. Favorite Smells_

A certain someone's perfume, but she only wears it on special occasions!

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Yes!

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"Never out of bed before noon… Last man on the moon… Life imitates art…"

_11. Can you drive?_

Everyone tells me I can't…

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Define "fast"

_13. How often do you cry?_

Whenever

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they go by."

_15. Why?_

Because I'm always late!

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Nope

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

          "I Left The War To Fight A Battle"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         In my best friend's tree house.

_19. Who was it from?_

Uh… Can't tell. Sworn to secrecy!

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

^___^ Kawaii Patamon!

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

^___^ Kawaii P-chan!

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "Hello!"

_23. How do you respond?_

         "Hey!" ???

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         With who? Do I get to pick?

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A German Shepard

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Tobias, boy or girl, although I may have to adopt…

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         Yes, I like piña coladas…

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         And getting caught… I'm not much into health food… I am into champagne…! 

_29. What's your computer's background?_

         A blueprint that I accidentally burned into the screen when I left the computer on too long without a screen saver *sweatdrop* 

_30. What's under your bed?_

         Ranma ½ DVDs

_31. What's in your closet?_

Clothes and stuff

_32. How many languages _s_ do you speak? (list)_

Three. Japanese, English, and German

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Basketball

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

Due to an amusing mistake between soccer and basketball jerseys, 89 

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         "Hilde" and a happy face

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         "Black Balloon" Goo Goo Dolls

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Sleepwalker" The Wallflowers

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

         "I'm Coming Out" by Pink (I think.. They play it way too much.) 

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Not much

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

What?

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

Why don't you eat one and find out for yourself!

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         A big, baggy pair of cargo pants

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

The sounds of a de-construction site! (a.k.a. salvage yard, for y'all not in on the game)

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Mind your business.

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Long, brown hair…

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Oh, anything but Shubeiker… I can't wait to get married and drop it! (hint, hint!)

_47. Why?_

It's so hard to spell… And people always pronounce it wrong, too.

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         'fraid not.

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Nothing better to do really…

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         No

         Hilde copied and pasted the letter and hit 'send'. Sighing to herself, she stared blankly at the computer screen for a few moments before shutting it off and crawling into bed.

***Bonus Mini-Theater 8***

         The war posses stormed right up to Treize's open window, and Duo's cockpit opened. He stepped out, holding a bullhorn.

         "TREIZE KUSHRENADA!!! I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE! UNHAND MY- *smack* -_OUR_ GIRLFRIEND OR WE'LL BE FORCED TO LAY WASTE TO THIS BASE!"

         Treize walked out on to his balcony so he was standing pretty much face-to-face with the braided boy. "She escaped," he said simply and pointed down. Duo looked over the edge of door he was standing on and quickly retreated into the cockpit. 

         "…medic…" drifted up on the wind and his ear twitched. He knew that voice.

         "So, she ah, er, *gulp* jumped, eh?"

         Treize nodded.

         "Well, then! Looks like we'll be going! Hey, this was a nice little chat we had… Let's have another some time! Bye for now!" he rambled, tipped his baseball cap, and promptly shut the door. The megalomaniac blinked a few times, the returned inside to play solitaire. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: ***has fallen asleep again*

**Ke: ***clicks tongue* Well, she has off tomorrow… so she can catch up on her sleep.

**Tori: ***snaps awake* I HAVE OFF TOMORROW!? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME BEFORE!? I STAYED UP ALL NIGHT GRADING PAPERS! *collapses into hysterical sobs* 


	17. Dr. J is a hacker!? No kidding...

**Tori: **Duo keeps asking for a songfic to the Wall Flowers song "Sleepwalker" so you can look forward to one of those.

**Ke:** At this rate, you're gonna end up doing a request fic for each of them!

**Tori: **^____^ I don't mind! 'Sides, I like doing songfics!

**Stanton: **Where's the first chapter of the collaboration fic!?

**Tori: **…where's my 1000+ word fic, Mr. 5 Stories?

**Stanton: **…

**Tori: **Maybe I'll finish it for your birthday… 

**NOW! AS REQUESTED…**

~*~*~*~

            Dr. J grimaced as he scrolled through the letters in Heero's inbox.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

            "Indulging in pointless internet antics I see… What a waste of his time."

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

            Slanting a glance left, and then right for good measure, he hit the print button and smirked to himself. "Why not?"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

            Dr. J

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

            68

_3. Location (precise)_

            In my laboratory

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            None

_5. Favorite color_

White

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

Thick ones

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

            Industrial

_8. Favorite Smells_

A well-cooked meal

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Shower?

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"Damn. I woke up again."

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes.

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

On occasion I have been known to

_13. How often do you cry?_

I can't cry

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Then it's hilarious."

_15. Why?_

Because it makes complete and utter sense to me.

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

            No

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

             "Stopping One Disturbance By Causing Another"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

            I don't even remember…

_19. Who was it from?_

It was a long time ago…

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Purple. It's all over it.

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"Look on the bright side. If Hell really is a raging inferno, at least your coffee won't go cold!"

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

            "Creep/Weirdo/Freak…"

_23. How do you respond?_

            With a shrug

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

            …please don't tell me this is what you use our wonderfully crafted genocide machines for…

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

I don't know…

_26. What's your future child's name?_

I doubt there are any children in my future.

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

            Not really. Too sweet.

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

            No. I rust. 

_29. What's your computer's background?_

            It's just plain green 

_30. What's under your bed?_

            Dust

_31. What's in your closet?_

Clothes

_32. How many languages _s_ do you speak? (list)_

Two. Japanese and English

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Basketball    [AN: Get it!? "Dr. J" The basketball player! ^___^ Okay, so Heero told me that one…]

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

Oh, I don't play. 

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

            "Dr. J"

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

            Styx "Mr. Roboto"

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

            White Lion "When The Children Cry"

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

            That crazy music those pilots are always blasting in their cockpits, whatever it is… 

_39. Do you drink milk?_

No

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

No

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

No

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

            My lab coat

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Machinery

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Hasn't everyone?

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

            It doesn't particularly matter

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Q

_47. Why?_

Because then I can call Heero Yuy 'James Bond'

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

            What's a 'muffin man'?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

            To see what it was all about.

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

            You didn't send it to me.

            Without thinking, he copied and pasted the letter, and sent it out to the names on the list. "Oops,' he frowned when he realized what he had just done. "Now Heero will know I've been going through his mail…"

***Bonus Mini-Theater 9***

            "ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE!?" Duo shouted over his suit's intercom.

            "…leg…arm…body…broken…" 

            "YOU _SURE_ YOU'RE OKAY!?"

            "…need…medical…attention…" she gasped.

            "ALRIGHT THEN! SEE YA!" With that, Deathscythe shot off and the other Gundams' eyes flicked a few times in some semblance of confused blinking.

            "…bleeding…blood…dying…lung…collapsed…" Duet blacked out.

            Wing Zero bent over to inspect her, then straightened up and looked over at the other suits.  "She'll be fine," Heero assured them, and the procession headed off again. As Heavyarms passed, it leaned over and Trowa calmly told her to "walk it off."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: ***yawn* Here's another one… Who am I missing? Just Sylvia?

**Ke: **I think so…

**Tori: **Hehehe… *maniacal grin* Then I can proceed to phase TWO!

**Ke: **TWO MIX, that is! Wahahahaha! *jams out to "Just Communication"*

**Tori: **Uh, no… I actually meant phase two…

**Ke:** Oh… *awkward silence* …can I go out with Duet? 


	18. Rashid can't mind his own business

**Tori: **The E-Mail isn't dead yet!

**Ke:** …a long way from dead I'd say…

**Tori: **Phase Two is fast approaching, though!

**Ke: **What's Phase Two?

**Ke#2: **When's it coming?

**Ke#8: **Where do you keep the hairspray?

**Tori: ***slowly turns around, then gasps in astonishment to see a group of about 10 multi-colored ferrets looking up at her*

**Ke: **Heh. I can explain…

**Tori: ***faints* 

                                                                                                                    ****

~*~*~*~

         Rashid hummed to himself as he strolled casually through the living room, hands thrust into his pockets. Sliding a glance left, then right, he let the tune trail off and, with a start of childish glee and a manic grin, slid into Quatre's computer chair.

         "I'll just check up on him…" he reasoned, opening his ward's inbox and double-clicking the first letter he saw.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         "Not the girl again… She's going to ruin him! Refusing to join the harem but living in Master Quatre's house anyway!" Releasing a massive sigh, he read on.

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "I better check this out to be sure it isn't harmful…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Rashid Kurama

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         42

_3. Location (precise)_

         Safehouse

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         None

_5. Favorite color_

Orange

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

No socks

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Indie

_8. Favorite Smells_

The desert at night

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

No

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"…*grunts then yawns and stretches* …"

_11. Can you drive?_

Yes.

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

Only to make cops get out of their cars when it's raining

_13. How often do you cry?_

What reason would I have to cry? All is well in the world of the Muslims… [A/N: Oooh! Sarcasm! One of my favorites!]

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"_Ab honestro virum bonum nihil deterret"_ {Nothing deters a good man from doing what is honorable}

_15. Why?_

There is truth to it. 

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         No

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

          "How Do You Spell That?"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         At the Sunset Oasis not far from here

_19. Who was it from?_

A young lady whose name I cannot remember

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

There are no designs on my _tunic_.

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"Camel spit. Horse shit. …this "dirty mouth" thing could go so many ways…"

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "You're…not riding on _my_ flight, are you?"

_23. How do you respond?_

         With a level stare and a call to airport security.

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         QUATRE!

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A bear

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Rashid Jr. or Rashilie, in accordance with tradition

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         No

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         I enjoy the rain very much, being desert-bred 

_29. What's your computer's background?_

         This isn't my computer, but mine has a picture of the desert

_30. What's under your bed?_

         The second bunk

_31. What's in your closet?_

The third bunk

_32. How many languages _s_ do you speak? (list)_

Four. Japanese, English, Sanskrit, and Arabic

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Camel racing           [A/N: *does a rim-shot and is promptly booed out of the fic*]

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

I don't play, just watch 

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         "RASHID" and the Magunac insignia

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         Never

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Responsibility" by Akira Shinoto

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

          Rap

_39. Do you drink milk?_

Every day

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Yes

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

It was dipped in chocolate, but it was still rather nasty

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         My slippers

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

The six pilots speaking rather loudly somewhere in the house. I feel safer knowing where they all are.

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Yes, but I've never married.

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Dark red

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

I wouldn't

_47. Why?_

Because my name is part of my family's tradition

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         Is that the one who goes "Hoo hoo HOO!" when you poke him in the stomach?

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         Security reasons

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         Actually, this wasn't sent to me at all

         With an intriguing smile that revealed nothing of what he was thinking, Rashid sent the letter, but not before adding Catherine Bloom's address to the list from Quatre's address book. "People might be angry if they're excluded. Hm, better add Sylvia as well…" _Click!_

         "Message successfully sent!" the computer beeped. 

***Bonus Mini-Theater 10***

         Quatre and Trowa had just seen the last of their friends down the stairs and out the door and were ready to spend the rest of their eventful evening vegging in front of the TV with the rest of the guys when the French doors swung inwards. An unimpressive breeze stirred the gauze curtains a limply, and a flash of lightning all but failed to not-quite-menacingly outline a feminine figure standing in the opening.

         With a shaky hand, Trowa reached over and flicked on the lights. A shrill cry tore through the air, but drowned in a fit of coughing. Duet fell to the floor, clutching her chest and covering her mouth.

         "Oh. It's just you," Heero deadpanned, then turned back to the TV. "You almost had me for a minute."

         "…dying… bleeding… need…medical…attention…" the braided girl chocked, clutching at Quatre's ankles.

         "Oh, you'll be alright!" Quatre smiled down at her, then turned on his heel and walked off, stepping on her hand in the process.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Duet abuse!

**Ke#5: **You're awake.

**Tori: ***twitch twitch* NO THANKS TO YOU!

**Ke#9: **So, what are you going to do about this, ne?

**Tori: **I'M not going to do anything. YOU are going to find yourselves some other place to stay!

**Ke-Ke#10:** Oh… *awkward silence* …can we go out with Duet??? *big ferret 'I just ate a bowl of macaroni & cheese' grins*


	19. Cathy wraps it up!

**Tori: **Last one before Phase Two!

**Ke#5:** Whoopty FRIGGING do!

**Tori: **I don't like him…

**Ke#3: **Please, #5! You should really watch your language!

**Tori: **I like him even less…

**Ke#7: **`(^-^)' Everyone should be happy!

**Tori: ***sweatdrop* … *grabs a piece of cardboard, scribble furiously on it for a moment, then puts it in window*

**Sign: **Ferrets Up For Adoption! To Good/Half-Way Decent/No-More-Than-Semi-Abusive Home!

                                                                                                                    ****

~*~*~*~

         As Cathy finished typing up the circus's schedule on its website, a familiar voice over the speakers caught her quite by surprise. "You've had mail for a while, but I've quite neglected to tell you!" it said cheerfully. She instantly regretted installing that RAM the IRS had sent with her tax return.

_Heero, Duo, Trowa, Quatre, and Fei, it's me! Duet!,_

         Gracefully, she arched an eyebrow and rested her chin on the back of her hand. "I guess I was wrong. Quiet people attract all type of friends…" she sighed, half asleep.

_Here's a fun little test Makoto sent me! Watcha' do is fill this out with your answers, copy it, and send it to your friends! Don't forward it, just copy and paste. Oh, and send it back to me when you're done! It's supposed to be a learning experience!_

         "Let's see what my little brother has been up to…"

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, AND last)_

         Catherine Bloom

_2. Age (as precise as possible)_

         19

_3. Location (precise)_

         My circus trailer

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Wu Fei or Quatre, possibly! That Zechs friend of theirs is cute, too!

_5. Favorite color_

Cream

_6. Favorite kind of socks_

Nylons

_7. Favorite Types of Music_

         Classical

_8. Favorite Smells_

Cotton candy and popcorn

_9. Do you sing in the shower?_

Yep!

_10. What's the first thing you say in the morning?_

"Goodnight…"

_11. Can you drive?_

No

_12. If so, do you drive fast?_

I wouldn't even if I could drive

_13. How often do you cry?_

When I see my friends hurt

_14. What's your favorite quote?_

"When we get confused, we're discombobulated. Does that mean the rest of the time we're combobulated?" 

_15. Why?_

Because it's right up there with "How long is Happy Hour?" on stupid questions people ask when they're only half drunk. 

_16. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?_

         Yes, Sabby (short for Sabrina) the kitty

_17. If you wrote an autobiography, what would the title be?_

          "The Tightrope Walker"

_18. Where was your first kiss? (place, not location of kiss)_

         Behind the bleachers after one of my performances

_19. Who was it from?_

Some boy a few years older than me

_20. What's on the shirt you're wearing right now?_

Um, Gary from Sponge Bob Square Pants

_21. What's on your personal mug?_

"This is as close to Ambrosia as I'll ever come."

_22. What's the first thing a person says when they see you?_

         "You look pale… Are you alright?"

_23. How do you respond?_

         "Do I even know you…?"

_24. For a million dollars, would you make out in the cockpit of a Gundam?_

         TROWA!

_25. If you were an animal, what would you be?_

A swan

_26. What's your future child's name?_

Jennifer or Dominic

_27. Do you like piña coladas?_

         Yes

_28. And getting caught in the rain?_

         Mmm, I love the rain 

_29. What's your computer's background?_

         A web cam picture I took of my brother and Heero actually smiling

_30. What's under your bed?_

         Boxes of old photos and nostalgia

_31. What's in your closet?_

Costumes and regular clothes

_32. How many languages _s_ do you speak? (list)_

Three. Japanese, English, and Russian

_33. What's you're favorite sport?_

Gymnastics

_34. If you play a sport, what is your number?_

We don't have numbers

_35.  When you get a "Hello, my name is…" sticker, what do you put?_

         "Cathy" and a heart

_36. Have you ever heard a song that you felt described you? (name and band)_

         Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"

_37. Have you ever heard a song that totally hit home? (name and band)_

         "Imagine" by Jon Bon Jovi and Richie Sambora

_38. Was there ever a song that just pissed you off? (name and band)_

         "It's The End Of The World As We Know It" but only because I don't like the idea of the world ending

_39. Do you drink milk?_

I have it with breakfast

_40. Have you ever eaten a bug?_

Never voluntarily

_41. If so, how did it taste?_

Like bad apples

_42. What's your favorite article of clothing?_

         My long silk pajama pants and big sweatshirt

_43. What's your favorite sound?_

Applause or awe-struck silence

_44. Have you ever been in love?_

Yes, but I've never acted upon it

_45. Blondes, brunettes, red-heads or other colors?_

         Doesn't matter

_46. If you could change your name, what would it be?_

Alana

_47. Why?_

It's a nice name

_48. Do you know the muffin man?_

         Oh yes. He's the Gingerbread Man's second cousin.

_49. Why did you fill this out?_

         For fun!

_50. Do you hate me for sending this to you?_

         No, I hate my mail service provider

         Cathy copied and pasted the letter and hit send. Her MSP groaned audibly and made quite a show of sending the letter back to everyone on the address list. As she eyed the screen tiredly, she noticed one more address that hadn't responded. "Don't they know Sylvia went on sabbatical last month? People are so out of touch these days…"

***Bonus Mini-Theater 11***

         "THAT IS IT!" Duet cried and leapt to her feet, "WHY DOES NO ONE CARE THAT I'M DYING HERE!?" 

         "Because you're obviously not…" Heero replied without bothering to turn his eyes from the TV screen.

         "…damn…" she cursed silently, realizing all too late that by making it all the way home she had proved she was quite capable on her own and would not be getting anything more in the way of sympathy than a few Band-Aids and beer to tell her story over. "You all suck…" she scowled, plopping down in the computer chair. Her elbow accidentally grazed the mouse and the screen lit up.

         "I have…mail?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **See, I wasn't really abusing her…

**Ke#2: **My life is so horrible… Oh, woe is me…

**Ke: **Okay, now I'm starting to annoy me. 

**Ke#10: **If. You. Like. To. Talk. To. Tomatoes… If. A. Squash. Can. Make. You. Smile… If. You. Like. To-

**Tori: **YOU GUYS ARE _SO_ OUT!


	20. PHASE TWO (in all it's late, incomprehen...

**Tori: **HERE WE GO!!!

**Ke-Ke#10:** …joy…

**Tori: **Well, it's the introduction chapter to what everyone's been waiting for!

**Ke#6: **And…?

**Tori: **Oh yeah! ^__^ Thanks! You're a nice one! Um, I didn't write this chapter. Nope, this was written by but Heero, Trowa, Relena, Wu Fei, Duo, Quatre, and Duet. I helped a little on the first part, but that was it! I've actually been too busy chewing all my fake nails off.

                                                                                                                                                          ****

***Bonus Mini-Theater 12***

**Twice upon a harmless e-mail…**

            Narrowing her eyes, Duet clicked open her inbox and promptly facefaulted. Right off her chair. On her face. From her chair. And landed-you get the idea. "HOW MANY PEOPLE REPLIED TO THIS THING!?" she cried when she had climbed back into her seat. "You guys… Rashid… Cathy… Dorothy… Relena… TREIZE!? How did this get to OZ!?"

            "Newsflash, Du. That thing has been around the world and back," Duo smirked, "Heh. Guess who got it to OZ in the first place…" 

            There was a collective "YOU MORON!" directed at the poor braided boy before Duet hit print and the machine began spewing nineteen alternately answered copies of The E-mail. 

            "I sent this to FIVE people…" Duet seethed, snatching up the papers and flipping through them. "God, I hope no one else got a hold of these…"

            "Ditto there"

            "Yeah."

            "Righty-oh!"

            "That'd be pretty bad."

            "…"

            "Trowa, is there something you know that you're not telling us…?" Heero frowned, taking a few of the letters and sifting through them.

            "What would you do if I told you… never mind."

            "Trowa… Who else did you send this too?" Quatre pressed, scanning the e-mail addresses.

            "Erm…"

            "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wu Fei howled, clutching the papers to his chest. "YOU SENT THIS TO TORI, YOU… You… BAKAYAROU!!!"

            Five pairs of eyes fixed their cold stares on the unfortunate Heavyarms pilot.

            "Eh heh… I can explain…"

            "Explain later! We have to do something NOW! For all we know, those letter could be in her hands this very moment. Or even worse…on FanFiction.Net!" Duo moaned, his head in his hands.

            "Hold up… I've got a plan…" Quatre's eyes sparkled.

**When Good E-mails Go Bad**

_Dear Fan Fiction authors and authoresses, HA HA HA. Laugh it up. It's your turn now._

_                                                                                                                        Eternally wishing for your demise,_

_                                                                                                                                                The Gundam Pilots_

**Duet: **Oh! I love the signature!

_Fill it out, copy, paste, and send. It doesn't get any simpler._

            **Duo: **Now we need some REALLY good questions. Well, the first two can stay, cuz they're kinda important, but after that, sweet, sweet revenge…

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, maiden if married, AND last) and nom de plume (^o^ fancy word for pseudonym)_

_2. Age_

_3. Gender_

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

            **Duo: **This question STAYS!

            **All: ***nods*

_5. What do you look like? O.o _

**            Duet: ***deathglares Heero* What do you care?

            **Heero: **Is it a crime to want a mental picture?

            **Duet: **Two legs, two arms, and a head. 

            **Duo: **Duet, you don't understand how guys think.

            **Duet: **Au contraire… -___- I know all too well. 

_6. Favorite Band_

_7.Least Favorite Band_

_8. Favorite Song_

            **Heero: ***sadistic smile* Sorry, but music rules all.

            **Wu Fei: **What are you apologizing for!?__

_9. What's your personal motto?_

_10. What kind of idiot ARE you?_

            **Wu Fei: **Nice touch, Duo.

            **Duet: **Five bucks says someone says the Creamy Kind. *pulls a wad of money out of her shirt, plucks out a five, and returns the rest*

            **Trowa: **Double or nothing says someone's going to be unoriginal and copy that… *slips a ten out of his own wallet*

            **Duo:** Hold up! Hold up. I just wanna touch Duet's $5 bill…

            **Duet: **Go away, Duo!

_11. What was your favorite year of school and fondest memory from it?_

            **???: **Getting nostalgic already I see… 

**All: ***turn and look*

            **Duet: **Relena! What are you doing here!?

            **Relena: **I wanted to help exact revenge.

_12. What is your favorite word?_

_13. What is your least favorite word?_

_14. What was (is) you graduating prank?_

 

            **Duo & Duet: **Welding the hinges… Awwww-yeaaaahhhh… *grin in unison and high-five* 

            **Heero: **…super-gluing a desk to the ceiling and turning the rest over and gluing them to the floor…*reaches back two palms over his shoulders which Wu Fei suavely slaps*

            **Trowa: **Chicken in the dropped ceiling and fish in the swimming pool-

            **Quatre: **-which promptly died.

            **Relena: ***rolls eyes* You guys are _so_ bad…

_15. What's your SINGLE favorite anime (besides Gundam Wing, because we know you love us the most)_

 

_16. Would you strike against Bandai if Duet held another sit-in on their front step oh, say… six-ish?_

            **Wu Fei: **Rallying your minions, I see…

            **Duet: **It just doesn't work with one person!

            **Relena: **How would you get them to Japan in the first place?

            **Duet: **I'll call in a favor from that Gore guy. I mean, I did help him invent the internet after all…

            **All: ***sigh* …moron…

_17. Who is your hero?_

            **Quatre: **You know, I still can't spell that without two e's on the first try.

            **Duo: ***raises hand and bows head* Similar affliction.

_18. Why?_

_19. Write me a short haiku, please._

_20. Bulbasaur- animal or plant?_

_21. Are you a nice person?_

_22. Can I have your phone number?_

            **Relena: **Wu Fei, I'll let you get away with that only because you didn't ask if they were pretty or something…

            **Wu Fei: **Like that matters! I like people I can have great conversations with. Looks aren't as important as people make them out to be.

            **Relena: ***arches eyebrow* Really? They why does Duo do this? *mimics Duo* Ah! BREASTS AND TWO LEGS! *drool*

            **Duo: ***level stare directed at Relena* Shut it, lady. I haven't done that since I hooked up with Kat.

            **Duet: **You did it when you were with me… *cough* Anyway…can I have the guys' phone numbers?

            **Quatre: **It's not safe for anyone to give out that kind of information over the internet, Duet.

            **Duet: ***thinks for a minute* Okay, then. Well, ours is 867-5309 since- *WHAP!* Owie… *covers head*

            **Wu Fei: **Serves you right.

            **Heero: ***singing to himself* Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni~e~ne 

_23. Hobby/ies?_

_24. What's your theme song? (a.k.a. If you busted out on the silver screen, what'd be playing in the background?)_

            **Trowa: **Nice abuse of contractions and imagery there, Duet.

            **Duet: **Arigatou!

            **Trowa: **Tori is going to hate you for that…

            **Quatre: **Heero might, too.

            **Heero: ***grumbles* …abuse of Japanese language…

            **Duet: **Hee-chan!? NEVER! *glomps Heero*

            **Heero: ***still stone-faced*  …versus undeniable cuteness…

_25. Who's your best friend?_

_26. What are you wearing right now?_

_27. For $50 bucks, would you take it off?_

_28. What do you want to be when you grow up? (Sorry, but _**we**_ don't intend to grow up)_

            **Relena: **I love the honesty…

_29. In three words, describe what makes someone beautiful._

_30. You were really looking foreword this chapter, only to be disappointed, weren't you?_

_31. Um… Who is you're favorite Gundam pilot?_

_32. What is the meaning of life?_

**Duo: **42, naturally.

            **Heero: **If that's so, then why? What was the question it answered?

            **Duo: **…you're getting all philosophical on me…

_33. Chubakabra, The Stupid Crazy Monkey Cats With Weed, or The Monsignor Kennedys?_

**Duo: STUPID CRAZY MONKEY CATS WITH WEED**!

            **Trowa: **No, **Chubakabra**…

            **Wu Fei: The Monsignor Kennedys**!

            **Heero: **Doesn't matter to me… I just sit there holding the guitar and looking good. Oh, and singing.

            **Duet: **I still think we should be **More Than Mike.**

**            Duo, Trowa, & Wu Fei: ***deathglare Duet*

            **Trowa: ***snatches Duet's **Less Than Jake** cd and drops it behind the couch*

            **Quatre: ***sigh* It's for a band…

            **Tro, Duo, Fei, and Duet: ***start a huge argument*****

_34. What's your favorite literature genre(s)? (humor, angst, romance…)_

_35. Know any languages?_

**Trowa: **Plagiarizing the original E-Mail, are we?

            **Duo: ***holds head* I'm running out of questions!

            **Relena: **¬__¬ You can't come up with fifty original questions between the six of you?

            **Duet: **¬__¬ Did you come to help…or are you just here to offer sarcastic comments?

            ****

_36. Who is your favorite FanFiction.Net author?_

**            Duet: ***whispers* Nobody say Tori…

            **Quatre: **Duet!

            **Duet: **Hey! She promised she wouldn't edit ANY of this! ^___~

            **Quatre: **Yes, but she _will _read it…

_37. Should we stop teasing Trowa and Michelle {Princess}?_

**            Trowa: **Yes.

            **Duet: **NEVER! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

_38. Is Jell-O solid or liquid?_

_39 Doesn't the song _Cruel Angel's Thesis_ kick ass?_

_40. Would you rather eat a _Spicy Stewed Doughnut _or _Mochi?

            **Relena: ***takes away Heero's_ Monster Rancher_ game*

            **Duet: **I assume by Mochi, you mean the platypus thing?

            **Trowa: **Then what's a _Spicy Stewed Doughnut_?

            **Duo: **Heero's Trigun CD…

            **Duet: ***sticks tongue out* I wouldn't eat either of them…

_41. If you had five dollars and a pool noodle, WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?_

_42. How many fanfictions have you published?_

_43. Favorite compass direction? (North, West…)_

_44. Favorite ice cream flavor?_

_45. Favorite non-anime TV show?_

_46. Favorite subject at school? (Don't BS us with crap like 'recess' or 'lunch' either…)_

_47. Favorite, uhhh…ummm…Eh, heh… Pokémon? _

**            Duo: **Crap, we're running out again…

            **Quatre: **Five lines of favorites didn't help much…

            **Relena: **Three left, guys! ^___^ You can get it!

            **Duet: **Good typing, Heero. That's exactly the face she made, too.

_48. Who do you want to see run for president of the U.S.A.?_

_49. Why?_

_50. Now wasn't this disappointingly sucky?_

            **Relena & Duet: ***dancing around* WAIII! ^___^ We're done!

**Heero: ***cracks knuckles* Someone else can type next time.

            **Quatre: **I think Tori's a little miffed that we took so long…

            **Trowa: **We are the Inevitably Late Pilots.

            **Wu Fei: **I feel it necessary to explain to the readers that this took us about a month to complete.

            **Tori: **And that I am not at all responsible for ANY of this.         **Quatre: **She awakens…

            **Tori: **You told me not to bother you while you finished up.

            **Relena: **So you fell asleep in Duo's room?

            **Tori: **No, I passed out. It smells like Nair and burnt plastic in there.

            **Duet: **It was a bug, not plastic.

            **Tori: **…

            **Duet: **I got a new Zippo lighter! ^____^

            **Heero: **You're going to burn the house down… 

            **Duet: **…?

            *awkward silence*

            **Tori: ***kicks Heero out of computer chair and takes over keyboard*

**            Wu Fei: **Well, while you're there, you can answer the questions we've prepared.

            **Tori: **^____^ Now it's my turn to have fun!

            **Duo: ***turns to look at others* Heh.

            **Tori: ***starts reading the questions*

            **All: ***snicker*

            **Tori: ***falls over dead*


	21. Tori Yuki Ichimura

**Tori: ***raises fists* BANZAI!!! BANZAI!!! BANZAI!!!

**Awa: **Translation for Americans?

**Tori: **¬_¬ *cough* *clutches fists* Ah'm READY! Ah'm READY!

**Kegawa: **That has to be THE worst SpongeBob SquarePants impression I've EVER seen.

**Tori: **And _you_ must be the most condescending ferret _I've_ ever seen…

                                                                                                                    ****

~*~*~*~

         Tori {That's me! ^__^} popped the Zip disk she'd received from Heero-tachi (along with a post-it note saying "Return when you're finished. These are ten bucks each.") into the Zip drive and opened it in Microsoft Word. 

**When Good E-mails Go Bad**

_Dear Fan Fiction authors and authoresses, HA HA HA. Laugh it up. It's your turn now._

_                                                                                          Eternally wishing for your demise,_

_                                                                                                            The Gundam Pilots_

"Lovely…" she frowned.

_Fill it out, copy, paste, and send. It doesn't get any simpler._

         *takes out juzu and crosses self*

_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, maiden if married, AND last) and nom de plume (^o^ fancy word for pseudonym)_

Tori Yuki  Ichimura (same for pen name, although I drop 'Tori' for professional works)

_2. Age_  

         19

_3. Gender_

         Female

_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_

         Ah, er… I would say, but I don't want to put anyone on the spot… I have a feeling he himself has a pretty good idea.

_5. What do you look like? O.o _

Screw you, Duo, because I know this is yours. 165 centimeters, brown hair with red tips, green eyes, yadda yadda…

_6. Favorite Band_

         In Japan, **8-3-9** (_"Yakuza")_ but here, **Greenday**

_7.Least Favorite Band_

         **Bouncing Souls** If Duet plays the "Irish Drinking Song" one more time I'm gonna strangle her. It's nothing against them…

_8. Favorite Song_

         Currently? **Blink 182 **"This Is Growing Up"  and "Mamboleo" by Elissa

_9. What's your personal motto?_

Well, hell, if I don't die I'll probably look back on it one day and say I had fun.

_10. What kind of idiot ARE you?_

         The kind who knows when to just give up on her crazy American friends. They will never appreciate anime… 

_11. What was your favorite year of school and fondest memory from it?_

         Senior year of high school (last year) I made salutorian and gave this hysterical speech. (hysterical because I was laughing and crying at the same time)

_12. What is your favorite word?_

Inspiration. Followed immediately by 'spork'.

_13. What is your least favorite word?_

Fester. It sounds as disgusting as it is…

_14. What was (is) you graduating prank?_

^___^ Everyone got a marble or paperclip or something and handed it to the principal when he handed us our diplomas so about ten people into the ceremony he was dropping things everywhere and the trinkets just kept coming.

_15. What's your SINGLE favorite anime (besides Gundam Wing, because we know you love us the most)_

 Ah! Don't do this to me! ____ Uh…. **Battle Athletes**!

_16. Would you strike against Bandai if Duet held another sit-in on their front step oh, say… six-ish?_

Oh yes… I'm just itching to get fired when word gets over to Sotsu, which it will.

_17. Who is your hero?_

         Myself 

_18. Why?_

Your hero is someone you want to grow up to be like. Well, I want to grow up to be just like  me.  I'm not living a lie. I never was. All my life I've been allowed to live to the fullest, so I don't need to live through anyone else.

_19. Write me a short haiku, please._

         A plaintive cry echoes

         Sorrow fills her pale blue eyes

         Cherry blossoms fall

_20. Bulbasaur- animal or plant?_

Animal! ^___^

_21. Are you a nice person?_

At times…

_22. Can I have your phone number?_

You have my phone number.

_23. Hobby/ies?_

         Translating, writing and illustrating doujinshi. Translating manga for Mixx. Learning to play _Dance! Dance! Revolution._

_24. What's your theme song? (a.k.a. If you busted out on the silver screen, what'd be playing in the background?)_

         My theme song? Hmmm… **Fuel** "Shimmer"

_25. Who's your best friend?_

Stanton

_26. What are you wearing right now?_

A white tank top that says 'kitsune' in kanji and a black pair of shorts.

_27. For $50 bucks, would you take it off?_

         Yes, DUO, I would. (Hehehe… Duet: "Would that make me a prostitute???")

_28. What do you want to be when you grow up? (Sorry, but _**we**_ don't intend to grow up)_

          Famous for my work in anime and manga

_29. In three words, describe what makes someone beautiful._

         Eyes, personality, heart

_30. You were really looking foreword this chapter, only to be disappointed, weren't you?_

         Yes, especially because it took nearly a month

_31. Um… Who is you're favorite Gundam pilot?_

You are NOT making me choose because if I do I won't hear the end of it.

_32. What is the meaning of life?_

         Good food, good friends (Oi, I sound like the Olive Garden….), good entertainment, and good times

_33. Chubakabra, The Stupid Crazy Monkey Cats With Weed, or The Monsignor Kennedys?_

         Sorry. I'm with Tro on this one. _Chubakabra_. In fact, anything but _The Monsignor Kennedys._

_34. What's your favorite literature genre(s)? (sci-fi, angst, horror, romance…)_

         Angst, romance, and my biggest seller, humor. I hope you have as much fun reading as I do writing!

_35. Know any languages?_

         Japanese, English, l33t, html, and a bit of Spanish. "CUIDADO! PISO MOJADO!" 

_36. Who is your favorite FanFiction.Net author?_

         *takes a deeps breath* Talon, Lyra, Stanton, Shiro, Rona, Lady Lye, Taro, Nueva, OMightyWifeOfShinigami, Duet-Sama, Trmpetplaya1… The list goes on.

_37. Should we stop teasing Trowa and Michelle {Princess}?_

         Yes! Leave those poor love birds alone! Michelle, if Duet starts giving you a hard time, just let me know and I'll write her into a bad yuri lemon!

_38. Is Jell-O solid or liquid?_

         Jell-O is solid, right Stanton?

_39 Doesn't the song _Cruel Angel's Thesis_ kick ass?_

^____^ Yep! **Evangelion** is okay, too…

_40. Would you rather eat a _Spicy Stewed Doughnut _or _Mochi?

Mochi is actually quite good. 

_41. If you had five dollars and a pool noodle, WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?_

..I already killed this joke in the letters to you guys… But I suppose I'd use the five dollars to buy a lottery ticket and when I won, I'd buy the pool noodle a friend! ^____^

_42. How many fanfictions have you published?_

         Ehhh… 77? 78? Beats the crap outta me.

_43. Favorite compass direction? (North, West…)_

West. North-side, the south-side, the flip-side the east-side, the West Side Posse. ^___~

_44. Favorite ice cream flavor?_

Chunky Monkey

_45. Favorite non-anime TV show?_

         That you would know of? *laughs* Either _Whose Line Is It Anyway_ or _Trading Spaces._

_46. Favorite subject at school? (Don't BS us with crap like 'recess' or 'lunch' either…)_

Creative Writing, though I do like psychology quite a bit as well…

_47. Favorite, uhhh…ummm…Eh, heh… Pokémon? _

         A tie, Articuno and Mew. _Journey To The Top_ will always have a special place in my heart. Go ANTHROPOMORPHISM!

_48. Who do you want to see run for president of the U.S.A.?_

         ^___^ George Bush is pretty funny. (we both have the 'choking on pretzels' affliction) But Bill Clinton was the greatest. Still, I'd love to see Duo up there, or maybe Duet. Yeah, Duet. 

_49. Why?_

         Then she could make me first Secretary of the Arts. (Sorry, Cladek-san! ^___~ We all know that would really go to you!)       

_50. Now wasn't this disappointingly sucky?_

         Yes, it was. You should be ashamed. Go die in a fire. 

         Tori copied and pasted the e-mail and sent it out all the authors whose e-mail addresses she could find. Hopefully, this would be as painless as the last round.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

**Tori: **Hey, if you didn't get the e-mail, I probably didn't catch your address off the last batch Talon sent around. If you want, leave 'em in the reviews and I'll copy and paste them myself.

**Kegawa: **So, um… *looks over shoulder at the nine other ferrets*

**Tori: **¬__¬ I know, I know… I'll get around to kicking them out…


	22. Ivy Adrena

**Tori: **This is the first one I got from the lovely Ivy Adrena!

~*~*~*~

Hey, you asked for it.   
  
_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, maiden if married, AND last) and nom de plume (^o^ fancy word for pseudonym_  
Ivy Adrena  
_2. Age_  
17  
_3. Gender_  
Female  
_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_  
Sho Shinjo  
_5. What do you look like? O.o_   
Waist-length auburn-red hair, tri-color forest green, aqua green, and corn-flower blue eyes. Hourglass-figure (ugh.. hate it..) I always wear my red bandana. They'll be ice-skating in Hell before I'm seen in public w/o it.  
_6. Favorite Band_  
Do I have to choose just one? Uhm.. Creed, Goo Goo Dolls, Metallica, Savage Garden, 3 doors down.. for single artist, 'd say Andrea Bocelli, Megumi Ogata, DJ Keoki, the list goes on. I like all kinds of music.   
_7.Least Favorite Band_  
Destiny's Child  
_8. Favorite Song  
_Ugh.. Another! I can't choose!! White Reflection, Don't Let Me Get Me(the only Pink song I will actually listen to), Crash and Burn (Savage Garden), Black Balloon (Goo Goo Dolls).. I can't pick just one.  
_9. What's your personal motto?  
_Live life like you'll never see the next sunrise. Chances are you won't.   
_10. What kind of idiot ARE you?  
_Sadistic with a dirty sense of humor.  
_11. What was your favorite year of school and fondest memory from it?_  
My freshman year of High School. I moved out of a Hellhole, met a ton of new friends, and got addicted to anime.  
_12. What is your favorite word?_  
~:FWOOSH:~  
_13. What is your least favorite word?_  
~*blink blink*~ I don't have one.   
_14. What was (is) you graduating prank?  
_The school mascot is a Trojan(yes, I know, the Trojans lost the war, the thick-sculled bastards). Use your imagination.  
_15. What's your SINGLE favorite anime (besides Gundam Wing, because we know you love us the most)  
_at the moment… Vampire Princess Miyu.  
_16. Would you strike against Bandai if Duet held another sit-in on their front step oh, say… six-ish?_  
Hai.  
_17. Who is your hero?  
_~*starts singing the lyrics to "Hero" from the Spider-man sounds track*~ …they say a hero can save us, I'm not gonna stand here and wait… ^_^() Sho Shinjo  
_18. Why?_  
He saved my life.  
_19. Write me a short haiku, please._  
Light and refreshing  
The mountain air reminds me  
Of your kiss  
(My first Haiku ever. Did I even do it right?)  
_20. Bulbasaur- animal or plant?_  
hybrid  
_21. Are you a nice person?_  
Define "nice".  
_22. Can I have your phone number?_  
634-5789  
_23. Hobby/ies?_  
Drawing, writing, reading, collecting any anime I can find…  
_24. What's your theme song? (a.k.a. If you busted out on the silver screen, what'd be playing in the background?)  
_At the moment, it's a toss-up between Savage Garden's "To the Moon and Back", Goo Goo Dolls' "Black Balloon", or "Hero" by Chad Kroger (Spider-man soundtrack)  
_25. Who's your best friend?_  
Male or female?  
Male: Sho Shinjo  
Female: Ami, J, and Mel  
_26. What are you wearing right now?_  
Martini Boxers and a Spider-man dog tag.  
_27. For $50 bucks, would you take it off?_  
Who would be watching?  
_28. What do you want to be when you grow up? (Sorry, but we don't intend to grow up)  
_Assassin  
_29. In three words, describe what makes someone beautiful.  
_Personality, eyes, humor.  
_30. You were really looking foreword this chapter, only to be disappointed, weren't you?_  
Yup. You've ruined my faith in updates.  
_31. Um… Who is you're favorite Gundam pilot?  
_Talk about a loaded question… ^_^()()()  
_32. What is the meaning of life?  
_Death.  
_33. Chubakabra, The Stupid Crazy Monkey Cats With Weed, or The Monsignor Kennedys?  
_Inevitably Late Pilots  
_34. What's your favorite literature genre(s)? (humor, angst, romance…)_  
Depends on my mood.. while humor and romance are good, horror can be fun as well.  
_35. Know any languages?_  
Yup. English, duh. Some Spanish, French, 'lil bit of Japanese(want to become fluent. Not like it'll happen, but a girl can hope), trying to learn Gaelic… teensy bit of Italian…   
_36. Who is your favorite FanFiction.Net author?_  
From what? Origional Novel? (redloserpaw, Aridianna, kimbop) X-men? (Wolfsun, Wild Childe) Gundam Wing? (cousin D, GS, Unholy Quintet, and yes, Tori)  
_37. Should we stop teasing Trowa and Michelle {Princess}?  
_Only if you run out of good material. (And I doubt that will happen any time soon)  
_38. Is Jell-O solid or liquid?_  
  
_39 Doesn't the song Cruel Angel's Thesis kick ass?  
_Hell yes.  
_40. Would you rather eat a Spicy Stewed Doughnut or Mochi?  
_Sushi  
_41. If you had five dollars and a pool noodle, WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?_  
Bash various people over the head with the pool noodle, then strange someone with it. Then, go buy a new lighter and Mountain Dew, and torch as many things as possible.  
_42. How many fanfictions have you published?_  
Origional Novels: 2  
Poems: 7  
Smutty Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust fanfic: 1 in progress   
_43. Favorite compass direction? (North, West…)_  
East  
_44. Favorite ice cream flavor?  
_Bryers Natural Vanilla (Vanilla Bean)  
_45. Favorite non-anime TV show?_  
Re-runs of Stargate SG-1  
_46. Favorite subject at school? (Don't BS us with crap like 'recess' or 'lunch' either…)  
_Mythology, Art, SRT…  
_47. Favorite, uhhh…ummm…Eh, heh… Pokémon?_   
Dunno… some kind of strong/fast/intelligent fire type?  
_48. Who do you want to see run for president of the U.S.A.?  
_Duo Maxwell  
_49. Why?  
_Trust me, you don't wanna know...  
_50. Now wasn't this disappointingly sucky?_  
Yup.  
  
-- Ivy


	23. Guardian Spirit

**Tori: ***sweatdrop* Talon, could you send me those addresses again???

~*~*~*~

Wahoo! Time for phase two! *excited* Let's see if I can post this whole thing in here...Yep! Alright, enjoy.  
  
_1. Name (first, middle, Confirmation if Catholic, maiden if married, AND last) and nom de plume (^o^ fancy word for pseudonym)_  
Kerry Ann Catherine Erlanger (a.k.a. Guardian Spirit)  
  
_2. Age_  
14   
  
_3. Gender_  
female  
  
_4. Girlfriend/ Boyfriend_  
*sigh* Unfortinatly, I am destined to grow up to be an smelly old spinster with 300 cats as my only companions. I mean, love is blossoming all over the world and I'm stuck here sitting at the boring beach, looking like the human equivalent of a dalmation, next to my dad who has a weird feminine-looking straw hat on.   
o.O;;;; sorry  
  
_5. What do you look like? O.o_   
a duck  
  
_6. Favorite Band_  
I have two- Oasis and Two-Mix   
  
_7.Least Favorite Band_  
NYSNC, not that they can even be considered a band...   
  
_8. Favorite Song_  
"Live Forever" - Oasis  
  
_9. What's your personal motto?_  
don't have one, but if I did it would be, um....*thinks* i don't know, something like 'Make love, not war', ya know, hippish.   
  
_10. What kind of idiot ARE you?_  
a bizarre one  
_  
11. What was your favorite year of school and fondest memory from it?_  
favorite year of school? hmm, well, so far I'd have to say 8th grade. My favorite memory was when we went on this school trip.   
  
_12. What is your favorite word?_  
groovy ^_____^  
  
_13. What is your least favorite word?_  
don't have one. I love every word!   
_  
14. What was (is) you graduating prank?_  
Don't know yet, but I will have one eventually. I have 4 years to think about that.   
  
_15. What's your SINGLE favorite anime (besides Gundam Wing, because we know you love us the most)_  
I'd have to say Ronin Warriors.   
  
_16. Would you strike against Bandai if Duet held another sit-in on their front step oh, say… six-ish?  
_*plops down on the groud* HELL NO! WE WON'T GO!   
  
_17. Who is your hero?_  
I'm not sure really  
  
_18. Why?  
_because  
_  
19. Write me a short haiku, please._  
*snorts* whatever you say....*continues on to next question*  
  
  
_20. Bulbasaur- animal or plant?_  
mineral  
  
_21. Are you a nice person?_  
Oh yes, very  
_  
22. Can I have your phone number?_  
Only Duo can have my phone number  
  
_23. Hobby/ies?_  
writing of course!   
  
_24. What's your theme song? (a.k.a. If you busted out on the silver screen, what'd be playing in the background?)_  
"Walking on Sunshine"...forget who sings it  
  
_25. Who's your best friend?_  
I have a few  
_  
26. What are you wearing right now?_  
this bright pink tye-dyed shirt and khaki shorts  
  
_27. For $50 bucks, would you take it off?_  
I'm getting paid to do that now? Wow!  
  
_28. What do you want to be when you grow up? (Sorry, but we don't intend to grow up)_   
Grow up? Ha ha ha ha ha ha   
_  
29. In three words, describe what makes someone beautiful._  
three words? that's hard. there are a millon things that make people beautiful, you can't describe it in three words.   
  
_30. You were really looking foreword this chapter, only to be disappointed, weren't you?_   
actually, no. I love filling these things out! ^__^  
  
_31. Um… Who is you're favorite Gundam pilot?_  
*clutches to shield for safety* If I really had to pick, I'd have to say....Trowa.  
  
_32. What is the meaning of life_?  
I agree, the answer to this question is 42.   
  
_33. Chubakabra, The Stupid Crazy Monkey Cats With Weed, or The Monsignor Kennedys?_  
The Stupid Crazy Monkey Cats With Weed  
  
_34. What's your favorite literature genre(s)? (humor, angst, romance…)_  
humor  
_  
35. Know any languages?_  
a little German, English, and French  
  
_36. Who is your favorite FanFiction.Net author?_  
Besides Tori (hehehe), I'd have to say Jayde Star.   
_  
37. Should we stop teasing Trowa and Michelle {Princess}?_  
Oh no, go right ahead and continue.   
  
_38. Is Jell-O solid or liquid?_  
uh, neither?   
_  
39 Doesn't the song Cruel Angel's Thesis kick ass?_  
I've actually never heard it before.   
_  
40. Would you rather eat a Spicy Stewed Doughnut or Mochi?_  
Mochi  
_  
41. If you had five dollars and a pool noodle, WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?_  
*wicked grin* Well, I'd first take the 5 dollars and buy more noodles, then I'd tie them together and go bungee jumping!   
_  
42. How many fanfictions have you published?_  
Three, maybe four.   
_  
43. Favorite compass direction? (North, West…)  
East_  
_  
44. Favorite ice cream flavor?_  
Phish Food  
_  
45. Favorite non-anime TV show?_  
Lizzie McGuire   
_  
46. Favorite subject at school? (Don't BS us with crap like 'recess' or 'lunch' either…)_  
Social Studies  
_  
47. Favorite, uhhh…ummm…Eh, heh… Pokémon?_   
Squirtle   
_  
48. Who do you want to see run for president of the U.S.A.?_  
Duet  
_  
49. Why?_  
because it would be amusing to see what she would do with the country  
_  
50. Now wasn't this disappointingly sucky?_  
no it wasn't, I enjoyed that.


End file.
